Swarr Family, Inc.

A GradZOOation double feature!!

2009-06-14T10:44:00.012-04:00

This post is a Double-Declan OVERDOSE!! ok breathe...ready? GO!

Declan and I, a few weeks ago went on his school's annual field trip to Zoo America. It was a good time...hot, but good. The kids were great and we had a blast!

For those of you that don't know, when Declan takes his lunch to school (which is almost every day), we always brown bag it. And with each brown bagged lunch, I draw a little picture on it. Sometimes a squirrel, sometimes a bird...random, yet fun.

This fine day I had to opportunity of having two brown bagged lunches, one for me and one for him...

With lunches in hand we were off to the zoo. Like I said, we had a great time (as you can see from the pictures).

Now for the crazy-cool! At the end of each school year, Declan, along with the other kids partake in the end of year program. It's usually a compilation of songs performed by each age group and then they wrap it up with a 'graduation' ceremony and a luncheon.

This year's program was a real 'blast from the past'.

For your viewing pleasure, here's a taste of the AMAZING job the kids did. And the picture below is Declan getting his end of year diploma!! Awesome job little man.

How to catch a leprechaun

2009-05-18T08:41:00.013-04:00

This St. Patrick's Day Declan was old enough to be introduced to the ancient sport of leprechaun trapping. Now this is something that my family takes seriously and Declan's first time was to be no exception.

He knew what a leprechaun was, so that was good. But that was about it. He had heard at school that leprechauns live in Ireland. This, obviously is not entirely true. I explained to him how leprechauns, who used to be indigenous to Ireland, were brought here by the Irish who immigrated during the potato famine in 1849. During the first migration in 1845, the Irish didn't bring them, but found living to be difficult. The leprechauns were then brought to ease the transition and to assist with reestablishment.

So the other thing he knew was that leprechauns liked candy. Again, not entirely true- they're Irish, think about this, folks. And lastly, I told him that although a person can trap a leprechaun, that doesn't necessarily mean they can see/grab/detain the elusive creature. I explained to him that once a leprechaun is trapped, they can disappear to escape, but their magic requires that they leave behind treasure when they do.

So...on to setting the trap. For this we will need the following:

a pair of scissors

a mug- in this case I used pewter. Physically and visually, the old style/material is more appealing to the leprechaun

a sturdy container, open on one end (I used an old file box without the lid)

a nice, level patch of grass

a stick (about 6-8 inches long) and a piece of string (about a foot)

Now that we've gathered our materials, let's set out to build our trap. I told Declan we need to be nonchalant about building the trap because, if we look like we're up to mischief it could draw the leprechauns out early before the trap is set. So...

Step 1:
tie one end of the string to the stick, the knot is most efficient when placed at the center

Step 2:
tie the other end of the string around the handle of the mug.

Step 3:
place the mug on a level patch and...

now for the bait: beer
normally I'd use a beer from Ireland, such as Harp, Guinness or Killian's, but since this trap was set in rural PA, leprechauns here aren't as picky as those who reside in urban areas near pubs.

When you pour the beer, you don't need to go for the 'perfect pour.' Leprechauns actually like a bit of good head...

...it gets stuck in their beards for later.

Place the container upside-down over the mug and prop one side up with the stick. Viola! The trap is set.

Now, since most leprechauns don't like to be seen or heard, except for the adolescent ones- they actually go out of their way to be noticed, we need to let our trap set over night.

We made out pretty good this time. Declan banked a huge bag full of candy, including green gummy frogs:

A General Update

2009-05-12T11:20:00.006-04:00

[posted by Zach]

Busy busy busy. Something always seems to be going on over at Swarr Family, Inc. We've been busy fixing, cleaning and upkeeping the house, Declan's keeping us (and himself) busy, school (for me) and work (for us) is keeping us in a constant head spin. Overall though, I think we're doing pretty well not getting caught up in the craziness of it all.

Declan's actually doing fantastic. He has his occasional incidents of impulsive behavior, such as tripping Mommy as she walks up the outside steps and coloring on the new lizard tank at school with a crayon because he wanted to...overall though he's doing well. His artwork is definitely improving and his reading (yes, I said 'reading') skills are starting to emerge. Go, Declan!

School finals are this week and I think they should be failry painless. I've only had 2 classes on my docket for this semester, so all in all it's been a fairly laxed few months. This summer I'm planning on taking 2 classes, which should prove to be a little more intense, but we'll see.

As for jobs, I'll leave mine well enough alone as that might cause a content overload on blogger. Sidestepping my whatever, Maribeth is doing great at her job, aside from the occasional bouts of boredom. C'est la work.

We'll check in again when we get more downtime (keep your fingers crossed that we'll have good news on the house).

-Zach

餐巾式的

2009-05-05T08:35:00.004-04:00

[posted by zach]

This morning, Declan and I were driving down the road and I had handed him two napkins to keep in his little 'caddy' that he has next to his seat just in case he'd ever need them to wipe his hands.

A couple minutes later, I turned around and saw him holding one napkin in his open palm and carefully pouring water on it. I asked him what he was doing and he said that his face was dirty. Good job, lil man.

But nothing could have prepared me for this. After his response, I turned back around and all I heard was...

"Nothing can defeat my napkin style!!"

I turned around just in time to see a blur of white. And when the dust settled...there was nothing left but a clean face.

Awesome.

Worth It

2009-04-22T14:37:00.014-04:00

[posted by Maribeth]

As we age, birthdays become a thing of passing concern. Another year older? Maybe, but only a day older than yesterday. Aging becomes less exciting, more sobering. Rather than each day bringing us closer to our independence, each day is one day less to work on dreams and aspirations. One day more in the mundane.

Aging is not a bad thing and should not be frightening, but it certainly loses it's coolness somewhere around 25.

That does not mean, however, that we cannot take full advantage of said birthdays.

On April 13th, Zach reached a threshold. He turned 30. For him, again, it was of passing concern. He does not feel different, he does not feel suddenly useless to a world focused on youth and brevity. He's old, and he's okay with that.

I, however, felt the need to show his youth out the door with enthusiasm.

The planning began rather pathetically. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good hostess. I am indecisive, easily stressed, and annoyingly thrifty. Simply not a good mix for a party planner. Nevertheless, I was determined to show Zach's youth a good time. While Zach's veteran expert party planning mother needed to intervene several times to avoid catastrophic faux pas, the end result actually wasn't too bad.

There was a small surprise party Easter weekend with just family to avoid detection of the real thing (which took lots of work nonetheless)(thanks Mom!). For the weekend of the actual party, Zach believed I was out of town with several other family members for a girls' weekend. He was to take Declan to a little community building in Mount Gretna for a kids' spring craft day. Luckily, he bought the whole story.

With everyone's willingness to help, the cars were parked down the street, there was a wonderful spread of food and drinks, great music and a slide show, and the decorations were fabulous. Thanks to the Archer family, we have great pictures as proof:

All in all, the party was a great time. I know I said this already while speechifying at the party, but I (we) owe so much to everyone who was there. A party just isn't a party without great guests, and we had the best. I'm feeling pretty darn lucky right now to know all of you.

And, even though I swore up and down while planning this thing that I would never do it again, it seems now that the pain was worth it.

Refreshment

2009-02-12T10:41:00.003-05:00

[posted by Zach]

A little while ago I had posted a video that was actually a commercial for the Discovery Channel. It was one of those videos that made you just feel good.

Well, as some of you may have seen during the Superbowl, Pepsi aired a commercial which showed the generational likenesses from past to present. It also, is one of those feel good videos.

If you missed it, here ye be.

Absolutely Amazing

2009-02-06T08:41:00.001-05:00

Courtesey of Michael Yon Online.
http://www.michaelyon-online.com/report-from-usmc-in-anbar-province.htm

MGen John Kelly USMC, CG MNF West, senior Marine in Iraq.

From: Kelly MajGen John F (CG)
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2009 9:53 AM

Election Day

I don't suppose this will get much coverage in the States as the news is so good. No, the news is unbelievable. Something didn't happen in Al Anbar Province, Iraq, today.

Once the most violent and most dangerous place on earth, no suicide vest bomber detonated killing dozens of voters. No suicide truck bomber drove into a polling place collapsing the building and killing and injuring over 100. No Marine was in a firefight engaging an Al Qaida terrorist trying to disrupt democracy.

What did happen was Anbar Sunnis came out in their tens of thousands to vote in the first free election of their lives. With the expectation of all of the above (suicide bombers) they walked miles (we shut down all vehicle traffic with the exception of some shuttle busses for the elderly and infirm) to the polling places. I slept under the stars with some Grunts at Combat Outpost Iba on the far side of Karma, and started driving the 200 miles up the Euphrates River Valley through Karma, Fallujah, Habbiniyah, Ramadi, Hit, Baghdad and back here to Al Asad. I stopped here and there to speak with cops, soldiers, Marines, and most importantly, regular Iraqi men and women along the way. It was the same everywhere. A tension with every finger on a trigger that broke at perhaps 3PM when we all began to think what was almost unthinkable a year ago. We might just pull this off without a bombing. No way.

By 4PM it seemed like we'd make it to 5PM when the polls closed. At 4:30 the unbelievable happened: the election was extended an hour to 6PM because of the large crowds! What are they kidding? Tempting fate like that is not nice. Six PM and the polls close without a single act of violence or a single accusation of fraud, and nearly by early reports pretty close to 100% voted. Priceless.

Every Anbari walking towards the polling place had these determined and, frankly, concerned looks on their faces. No children with them (here mothers and grandmothers are NEVER without their children or grandchildren) because of the expectation of death. Husbands voted separately from wives, and mothers separately from fathers for the same reason. In and out quickly to be less of a target for the expected suicide murderer. When they came out after voting they also wore the same expression on their faces, but now one of smiling amazement as they held up and stared at ink stained index fingers.

Norman Rockwell could not have captured this wonderment.

Even the ladies voted in large numbers and their husbands didn't insist on going into the booths to tell them who to vote for.

One of the things I've always said was that we came here to "give" them democracy. Even in the dark days my only consolation was that it was about freedom and democracy. After what I saw today, and having forgotten our own history and revolution, this was arrogance. People are not given freedom and democracy - they take it for themselves. The Anbaris deserve this credit.

Today I step down as the dictator, albeit benevolent, of Anbar Province. Today the Anbaris took it from me. I am ecstatic. It was a privilege to be part of it, to have somehow in a small way to have helped make it happen.

Semper Fi.
Kelly

The Boofers Song

2009-01-12T10:59:00.007-05:00

[by Zach]

Boofers, eh? Where to begin? Well, I guess it all started a long time ago when I was a just a little pup. The story I heard was that Dad used to sit at the table, after a meal and stretch, The resulting exhale/sigh sounded like 'boofers'.

Boofers has since become a family word.

When to use boofers? Well, Boofers is used when remarking about a negative situation. As an example, one would use it as such:

Zach was walking across the kitchen and dropped his cup, resulting in a huge mess of broken glass and water. Looking at the mess, Zach says, "Boofers*."

*Note: the short form, 'boof' can be substituted, or the semi-sarcastic form, 'booferrific' (i.e. "Well that was just booferrific").

Boofers has become such a normal word in our household that I think, when he finds out it is not a real word, Declan will need counseling.

He uses it all the time and, at one point, even had a song about it.

...and by the way...this recording, which was exclusive to Uncle Gabe and Aunt Karla, is now available to the masses.

Good job, Lil Man.

Mr. Sneaky

2009-01-07T11:59:00.004-05:00

[by Zach]

Normally something like this isn't really blog worthy, but I honestly believe this is Declan's first real attempt at defiance and trickery, so...I'll share.

Over the holiday season we were reminded once again how much little boys like cookies. Any time one would see the light of day, Declan would devour it and use his super human strength to locate and consume more....as if he were Galactus and each cookie was an insignificant little planet.

On the way home one evening, Declan had a cookie as a snack...no big deal. He was told that he could have no more cookies...I was witness to that. The Swarrmobile pulls in the driveway and we all pour out of the car with bags of new gifts. If my memory serves me, I got waylaid coming to the house, I think by taking trash out or something, and Maribeth was tasked with finding temporary homes for the big bags of stuff once inside.

After a few minutes I finish my duties and walk in the back door. Then I hear it...the distinct sound of a 3 year 10 month old male...crying. It's one of those sad cries; not the angry or mad cry or the sobbing/can't catch my breath cry, but just a real honest to goodness sad cry.

I go upstairs and find Lil Man laying in bed crying and Maribeth standing over him with her arms crossed. The look on her face: stern and stony-like with a hint of something I can't quite figure out. I look at her and mouth, "What happened?"

I get the sideways head jerk which I correctly interpreted as "Go into the other room with me and I'll tell you what happened." We go to the other room and she starts laughing.

The story came out that Declan lost one of his three bedtime stories because...when we got home, Mommy and Daddy weren't around and little man took a cookie off of the tray in the kitchen. And not only did he decide to eat it without permission, he decided to go upstairs and eat it so we wouldn't catch him.

For shame, Little Man....but good attempt nevertheless.

But know this....we will always know your tricks...always.

p.s. Given the lighter nature of the offense, Declan was given the opportunity to regain his third bedtime story if he was well behaved and listened while getting ready for bed. He did.

Outsmarted by a man half my size!!

2008-11-25T08:36:00.004-05:00

[by zach]

I love to talk to little man when I take him to school in the mornings. Obviously because he's my son, but mainly because you never know what he's gonna say. Case in point:

This morning for instance, I tried my hand getting him to see things in different perspectives. We were driving by a pond and I accidentally called it a lake. But that got me thinking...how he views a tiny puddle is different than how an ant would view that same puddle. Seemingly pointless information, but it may give him something to think about; analytical thinking is high on my importance list for him. So the conversation went as follows:

Me: "Declan? Did you ever think about how a small puddle would look to an even smaller ant?"

Declan: "No."

Me: "Well...let's say you're standing near a tiny puddle. And because you're so big, it's just a tiny puddle, right?"

Declan: "Yeah. Because I'm sooo big and the puddle is sooo small."

Me: "Now, let's say a tiny little ant walked up and stood at that same puddle. What do you think he would see instead of a tiny little puddle?"

Declan: "He'd see me standing at the puddle."

Awesome

2008-11-11T18:58:00.005-05:00

I just have to say right now how awesome my husband is. I came home from work (just after Zach had left the house for class) to find the table set and decorated, stuffed salmon in the oven with sides of pasta and vegetables on the stove and bread and shrimp on the table waiting. The oven and stove timers went off minutes after I walked in the door with Declan. So we sat down to a wonderful, delicious, almost relaxing dinner together, lamenting the fact that our 'daddy' was missing from the party.

Thanks honey. I love you.

Should've Eaten My Wheaties

2008-11-10T11:17:00.006-05:00

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea the amount of work I had to do before lunch.

I thought it was to be an ordinary day, but alas, I found myself destroying the Dallas Cowboys, rescuing a US Embassy from terrorists, spelunking for hidden treasure, and rescuing a princess from the clutches of a giant evil dragon-king after getting sucked down a pipe.

Whew!

I love online Nintendo Games.

Mr. McPiddlefingers

2008-10-29T19:05:00.007-04:00

[posted by Zach]

Tonight is the weekly, ever-anticipated Family Fun Night here at the Swarr household.

After we got home we made dinner and decided to play a board game while we ate. The game's called Frustration. It's a knock of the Milton Bradley game, Trouble. We just got it this past weekend at a consignment shop and little man loves it.

So there we were, playing and munching on the living room floor, when the smallest of our number began to wiggle around with his legs crossed. Maribeth, using her acute powers of observation asked, "Declan, do you need to go to the potty?"

"Mm hmm," was little man's reply. And with that he stood up and ran off to the bathroom.

We could hear everything from where we were. We heard the seat lift, his pants unsnap and get pulled down. The 4 second stream of whiz...

Then...Silence. A good 6 seconds of silence.

"Declan?"

"Whaaat?" came a little sing-song voice.

"What are you doing?"

"Um. Washing my hands," he said with a hint of that oh-crap-I'm-busted tone.

"I didn't hear the sink," Maribeth said as she got up and made her way to the bathroom, "did you wash your hands in the potty?"

"Um. Mm hmm," was his meek response.

"C'mon. Over to the sink. You have to wash your hands," Maribeth said.

"...but I already did..."

I love Family Fun Night.

Aquarium

2008-10-25T09:02:00.007-04:00

Declan's first trip to the aquarium - there's not really much to tell. The adventure was much like any other 3 year old's introduction to the world under the sea. We drove down to Baltimore with Nana, Pappy, Uncle Gabe, and Aunt Karla, and after getting over a bought of car sickness, Declan was a ball of excitement. He loved the entire day! The pictures tell it better though:

Like Father, Like Son

2008-09-25T16:20:00.004-04:00

[posted by Zach]

Last night was Family Fun Night at the Swarr household. We've been very good about taking every Wednesday and spending time as a family; either playing board games, watching movies, or going somewhere. The other thing about Family Fun Night is that Lil Man gets to sleep in our bed. It's a lot of fun and he absolutely loves it.

Last night we got food from Isaac's, rented Charlotte's Web and hung out upstairs. After getting ready for bed (teeth, jammies and stories), the lights went off and it was time to sleep.

I was lying facing away from Declan and trying to relax and Little Man was curled up behind me facing toward me. I was lying there and eventually I started to feel little Declan feet pressing on my butt. I asked him to stop and he didn't. I told him to stop and he didn't. So, like a responsible father I made a little push against his feet with my butt and I made a fart noise (with my mouth, of course).

Naturally, this prompted Little Man to push harder on my butt with his feet and every time he did, naturally I made another fart noise. He kept giggling, so, of course I kept doing it. Then he started to make fart noises. And before we knew it, the two of us are making fart noises and giggling in bed like a couple of three year olds...

Then, as if she was actually trying to sleep, we got a groggy, "OK. It's time to relax, boys" from Maribeth's side of the bed.

So, after a couple more giggly fart noises from both of us and another 'reminder' from Maribeth, we eventually calmed down.

Silent. Relaxed. Ready to sleep.

Then I felt two little fingers 'walk' up my back, down my shoulder, across my neck and up to my ear. I feel them 'squat' and then Little Man lets loose a fart noise and giggles.

I chuckled and turned to him and said, "OK, buddy. Let's sleep now."

I smiled and rolled back over. Beaming with pride.

A Mighty Groin Kick

2008-09-12T15:30:00.015-04:00

[by Zach]

I love cartoons. I grew up with my eyes glued to the TV every chance I got. I grew up watching the greats like Transformers, He-Man, Centurions, GI Joe, Inhumanoids, Smurfs, Snorks, TMNT, Robotix, blah blah blah...I could go on and on and on.

I still watch cartoons. I LOVE them. I even watched them when watching cartoons wasn't cool...in high school.

I'd come home and devour them. To the point, I must say, I watched Bonkers, Talespin and Goof Troop. On the other end of the spectrum, there were really good cartoons in the 90s. Batman: The Animated Series, The Tick, Tiny Tunes, Gargoyles, Animaniacs, Darkwing Duck, etc...

I must say, with few exceptions, one cartoon of that era stood out. Well above the rest. Maybe not in an animation sense, but the writing, voice acting and overall story arc was phenomenal. I'm speaking of Mighty Max. That blasted cartoon was amazing! Max, Virgil and Max's guardian, Norman. For an episode listing go here.

One of the things I love to do is gather up old cartoons I used to watch. Ask Maribeth, I have VHS tapes of Hulk Hogan's Rockin' Wrestling, DVDs of Gummi Bears, Transformers, Gi Joe, etc...
So, I find it only natural to buy Mighty Max on DVD. The entire series (even if it is only 2 seasons). I want it.

But I can't get it. It doesn't exist.

And to rub salt in the wound...I scrolled down on my amazon search...and found that this steaming pile of crap series got released. Who ever watched Biker Mice from Mars? Probably the same people that watched Capitol Critters...asses.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

2008-09-11T16:32:00.001-04:00

Four WONDERFUL years! Thanks, honey...

Pride and Determination- Declan Style!

2008-09-06T09:42:00.008-04:00

[posted by Zach]

During the days of potty training, we found that a little incentive goes a long way. One of those incentives was that Lil Man could pick out some underwear with his favorite cartoon characters on it. I forget the circumstances why, but I ended up going to Kmart and grabbing a bunch of underwear while Lil Man was at home with Mommy. In all of my geeky dad wisdom, I got him Spider-Man, Superman and, of course...Transformers Animated.

Over time, they became just any old underwear, but recently he's been taking a liking to the Transformers underwear (let me wipe my tear of joy).

This morning, however he only had Spider-Man and Thomas undies to wear...but wait! Mommy just moved a load of laundry over to the dryer. He's a Lil Man on a mission.

He's digging...

and digging....

FINALLY!! The treasure hunter found his booty!

Good job, Little Buddy!

Fed Up

2008-09-04T10:34:00.004-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

This blog is a place for family updates and recording some of Declan's day to day life. It was never intended to be a place of ranting or raising controversy. However, there is something I have been aching to get off my chest. It involves politics, so if you don't care to hear yet another political rant, read no further.

Here's my beef. Everyone knows that politicians are generally sleazy or unlikable in their own way. It takes a certain type of person to be a politician, and generally, that type of person has traits people don't like (generally, not always). It could be that he or she is a bit too good at schmoozing, or uses language that is far too antagonistic. Maybe he or she doesn't value the bonds of marriage or has simply said something once that annoyed you. This is nothing new.

What is bothering me most about our current election season is not the candidates themselves though. It is the American people. The outlets available for political discussion reflect truly pathetic conversation. Reported news is almost always biased, but that is not entirely new either. The internet has opened a new avenue for a very diverse nation to reach out to each other, discuss their views on our nation's future, and help each other make informed decisions.

Or so one would think.....

I have yet to find a single source of opinion and discussion that is intelligent, factual, and non-accusatory all in one. Readers leave comments to berate biased news articles, only to use name calling tactics themselves. Is this seriously the best our country has to offer? I do not believe that all internet users are uninformed, socially inept, name callers. That being said, why can't I find any intelligent conversation?!

Granted, there is nothing wrong with an old fashioned, person-to-person political conversation, but we are so limited if we converse no further than our own back yards! I am so incredibly frustrated by people who accuse and refuse to listen. Please, America, can't we have some intelligent, kind conversation on who we think the best presidential candidate is and why??? I have my mind made up on the matter, but that does not mean that I don't respect those that support the other guy. We are all entitled to our opinions, but we are NOT entitled to act like children and treat each other like garbage simply because we have not come to the same conclusion on who should lead the country. If you want me to change my mind, send over some well-informed, well-thought out information. Calling me stupid will not help your cause, I promise.

The Good Stuff

2008-09-02T21:41:00.005-04:00

By Mrs. Swarr

As most of you know, Zach is going back to school. He actually started last week, and we are slowly getting into the groove of this new adventure.

One of the benefits of Zach's endeavor is that I get Declan all to myself one night a week. To be quite honest, this is the perfect medicine for whatever ails me. Declan and I have a really great time when it is just the two of us, and it makes me feel more connected to him after spending 10 hours a day apart.

Last night was the first of these nights, so I decided Declan and I should have our own little celebratory dinner together. When I mentioned that we were going to go somewhere special for dinner, he immediately shouted for joy 'old macdonalds!!' as he calls it. I tried to say that, no, this was not what I had in mind, but whining ensued. To avoid any further grating on my nerves, I calmly explained to him how important it is to put good stuff in our bodies.

"But Mommy, chicken nuggets are good stuff. I eat them at school."

"Yes, and they're ok every once in a while, but they are not the best for us. We need to put fresh food, like vegetables and fruit into our bodies."

He agreed, so I took him to the Chocolate Cafe and ordered us each a peanut butter chocolate banana panini. Yes, he was bouncing off the walls all night, but at least his dinner was all organic. Right?

A Few Good... Commercials

2008-08-25T21:17:00.006-04:00

[posted by zach]

I thought I'd post the two newest Marine Corps commercials for your viewing pleasure. Courtesy of the Our Marines website.

This first one was from January and it is entitled Marines Across America. A portion of the Marine Corps Silent Drill Team traveled to fifteen sites across America to film this one.

This one is the newest of the Marine Corps commercials, called 'Leap'. It just aired in June and it tells the story of Staff Sergeant Hill, now a Senior Drill Instructor at MCRD Parris Island. Please follow this link to read more. It's worth it.

Also, check back soon, I'm working on a few posts about my experience in the Marine Corps from start to finish. For starters, take a look at this commercial...the one I remember.

Semper Fi.

School again, school again jiggity-jig

2008-08-19T13:45:00.005-04:00

For those of you that don't know, I am officially a student. I've decided to further my education by going to college. For starters, I'm going to HACC, then I'll be transferring to another school to round out my education and go from there. My ultimate goal is to become a history teacher. Yay me.

I've decided to start slow this semester to ease into things and I'm only taking 3 classes, two of which are online. I think this is a good move since I have a tough time getting into the mindset that I am a student. Those that can recall, I was not the most engaged student in high school.

The other thing I have to get used to is that all of the students at school are 10 years younger than me and the faculty at HACC deals with them day in and day out. Case in point:

I went to the campus today to pick up a few books. Not having a student ID yet, I went to the Student Services desk and decided to ask the lady (a non-student) a question...

me: Ok, question: Do I need a student ID to buy books from the book store?
lady: Well I'm not sure. Can I have your student ID?
me: Sure, it's Hxxxxxxxx.
lady: Can I see it?
me: Can you see what?
lady: Your student ID, I want to make sure it's correct.
me: What? I-I just gave it to you. Hxxxxxxxx.
lady: I know but I want to make sure you're giving me the correct number.
me: What? That's the number I use to log in online, correct?
lady: That's the same one. I'd like to confirm it's the right number.
me: Um, could I borrow a post it note and a pen?
lady: Oh sure.
[hands me said items...I proceed to write Hxxxxxxxx]
me: Here you go. [hand her info-filled post it note]
lady: That's correct. Thank you very much.
me: Are you serious?
lady: Hm?
me: Oh...uh...nevermind.

Lake Tobias

2008-08-14T09:41:00.013-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Ever been to Lake Tobias? No? I highly recommend it. It’s a wonderful little collection of strange animals like capybara, zedonks, yak, alpaca, and many more that I have never heard of. Many of the animals are so accustomed to people that they will walk right up to say hello (if they could actually talk). Definitely a good way to spend the afternoon.

Lake Tobias was the first of Declan’s field trips where I was lucky enough to tag along. There was plenty of fun to be had, but unfortunately the fun had to wait until after lunch time when Declan finally managed to get over his carsickness. We went on a safari in the morning, and I hate to admit that I was one of those goofy parents who was ten times more excited by the numerous animals than my own child was. Declan kept his head down on the seat trying not to throw up while I nudged him every 5 seconds to get him to look at the awesome buffalo or the huge moose climbing onto the topless safari bus. He just didn’t care.

After we got some food into his little belly, he was ready for adventure. We went straight to the petting zoo (aka herd of goats) where he fed baby animals and tested the patience of several alpacas (did you know that a black alpaca lazing in the sun feels really good against your naked belly? Yeah, me either...Declan does). He also violated at least one goat (kid sees goat with upturned tale, kid thinks ‘what’s that hole for’. Then, said child cannot possibly restrain finger from poking said hole), after which I dragged him directly to the exit to find a place to wash his hands, found that there was no such place, and promptly decided, meh, its just goat butt, how dirty can it be? Yes, apparently spending my childhood summers on a farm did damage my code of hygiene. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Overall, it was a fantastic trip. Have a look-see for yourself.

Warm Fuzzy

2008-08-14T09:28:00.006-04:00

[posted by zach]

I was home sick a little while ago. I can't really recall when or what was wrong with me, but I remember that it sucked. Ask Maribeth and she'll confirm; when I'm home sick, I will lay and watch TV all day long. Movies, Discovery Channel, History Channel, Military Channel, etc... If it's interesting and somewhat educational, I'm there.

Well, this particular time, I was watching my third consecutive episode of Survivorman On Demand (I will take this time to say that Survivorman is 1,000 times better that Man vs. Wild). The cool thing about On Demand is that they don't have commercials during the programs, but more of their own Network Plugs. They'll advertise about the network in general or an upcoming series, etc. Fine by me.

Les Stroud just finished skinning a rabbit when it faded to the break. I sat there and watched two astronauts floating in space, talking about the view. They then broke into song and this segment continued on showing different people and situations. All the while they are each singing this song. I was enthralled. I was laying there in awe of what I had just seen. Then I realized it was On Demand, so I was rewinding and rewatching it over and over.

Although I was sick, this segment made me feel good. Not healthy or giddy or anything...just good. Like the world is one big happy family. Well. Thanks to the interwebs, here is that same segment for you to enjoy. I guarantee you'll watch it over and over....and it'll put a smile on your face every time.

Goofball

2008-07-25T11:45:00.005-04:00

Once in a while- well, quite often actually, Declan acts like a weirdo. If the weirdo behavior is in my presence, it is usually followed by someone saying, "he's your kid."

The thing is, I'm proud of those moments. They remind me just how much fun life can be. This is one of those moments:

Thanks, Little Buddy.

-zach

secret weapon

2008-07-17T11:22:00.013-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Shorty after pledging to spend our lives adoring each other, Zach and I realized there are a few things we don't agree on. I happen to think They Might Be Giants does NOT provide the best musical entertainment known to man, and he will not admit that watching Love Actually 2x a week is normal. Over the past (gasp!) 4.5 years, we have managed to agree on things enough to not constantly want to throttle each other. I see this as a great success.

The one issue that remained a thorn in our sides longer than most, was how to spend our money. If I take a big ol' step back from the situation, I can safely say that Zach's spending habits are very much like any other guy's. He'd like a big, flat screen TV, more video game consoles, a new car every other year.... the basics.

How unfortunate then, that he should have chosen to chain himself to the biggest tight wad on the face of the planet. I will give Zach credit, he has made huge leaps and bounds in the spending department. That said, I cringe at least twice a day on the purchases that find their way into our home.

There is one exception to this rule. Catch me on a day when I am grumpy, send me shopping, and I will have drained all 3 savings accounts (we don't have 3 savings accounts, I exaggerated for effect). Well, last week I had a grumpy day. Actually it was more of a 'look at me and you die' kind of day, but whatever. Point is, Zach opens his big mouth and says, "Honey, why don't you let me hang out with Declan and you can just go shopping and relax."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . seriously?

Actually it turned out ok. I came home much happier, and only a little poorer. AND I brought home entertainment for Declan for the rest of the weekend. Kid was happier than a clam. If he's smart, he'll realize that all he has to do is piss off Mommy enough and she'll go buy presents.

Happy Birthday, Swarr Blog!!

2008-07-10T12:48:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday, Swarr Family Blog!

You're a whole 2 years old today. Congratulations! I remember our first post together like it was yesterday...

We've been posting steady for 2 years and we're still goin' at it.

Thanks to all for reading, posting and commenting. Without all of you this would be pointless.

~The Swarrs
(Zach, Maribeth, Declan, Arty and Lucy)

Happy Anniversary, Elder Swarrs!!

2008-06-27T14:32:00.003-04:00

Happy Anniversary!!!

Another year down and still going strong!!

Way to go, Mom and Dad!

Wii got it!

2008-06-27T14:15:00.001-04:00

I finally got my grubby little hands on this bad boy:

I'll let you know how it is as soon as I can.

-Zach

Wall-E

2008-06-26T16:03:00.001-04:00

So Wall-E comes out this weekend. I'm looking forward to going to see it because I haven't been let down by Pixar yet. Ratatouille was so-so the first time I saw it, but after rewatching it 2 or 3 times, it's growing on me. I really do like watching it and I think they did do a great job.

Now...back to Wall-E. It's a story (from what i can gather) about a single robot who is cleaning up the Earth after all of the humans have moved on. Another robot being comes to Earth and Wall-E gets pulled into an other worldly adventure by his cybernetic heartstrings. What more could draw a robot into the depths of space?

I'm really excited to see what Pixar developed for all of the other life forms. They are a creative bunch who seem to have fun doing what they do. Also, Pixar is known to insert Pixar-geekisms into their movie. I'm curious to know how many I can find. Also, the other thing that has piqued my interest is the fact that Wall-E doesn't talk (at least I don't think he does aside from the "Wall-Eeee" I've heard in the trailers). I think it's a great move and really pushes the limit of what one can actually do with just CGI as opposed to real actors.

After all, communication is 70% body language.

And Wine for All

2008-06-16T10:00:00.006-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Mt. Gretna is our favorite place in the world. Its quiet, serene, family friendly, has the best ice cream parlor for miles around, and all in all is the perfect place to spend one's life. Thanks to Zach's parents, we get to visit Mt. Gretna often and actually feel that we kind of sort of have the right to be there. We're actually beginning to feel a bit like insiders of this cottage clique. Almost.

As wonderful as Mt. Gretna is, there is one particular event that gets us keyed up unlike any other. The event just happens to be big trash night. This is the night that Mt. Gretnians get the opportunity to throw away, you guessed it, big trash items. Couches, commodes, tables, exercise equipment... you get the idea. You may think we get excited by the prospect of ridding ourselves of our own 'big' trash through sneaky drop-offs, but you would be wrong. Oh how you would be wrong.

Here's how these special, once a year evenings progress:

Zach, Declan and I have a nice relaxing dinner at the elder Swarr household. We drink a little wine (or apple juice), and try in vain to distract ourselves from the excitement of the impending adventure. Then, around 7 or 8 o'clock, we all pile into the largest vehicle we can find, and begin our rounds.

What a site we must be! Windows down, greedy gleam in our eyes, phrases such as, "Don't let that car get ahead of us!" and "You're driving too fast past the trash piles!" escaping from our car. Yes, I believe you are getting the idea. This is not just a night of trash, but a night of new found treasures!

Two years ago we picked ourselves up a new dryer. Not that it was top notch, but it was certainly better than the POS left to us by our home's former owners. Last year we hit a dry spell and found only a vase and a broken laptop. I was rather let down. This year more than made up for my disappointment though. This year... this year we hit gold.

I found a bizarre carved candle that I won't even begin to describe, several Psychology text books set out by a retired teacher, an old, black leather chair, and a very snazzy stained glass candle holder. The elder Swarrs found quite a few treasures of their own as well. Zach, however, was the real winner of the night. He won major points by being the gopher of the night. I may be thrilled by the hunt, but that doesn't mean I'm not mortified to be seen digging through someone else's trash. So Zach hopped in and out of the car while the rest of us threw stage whispers out the window: "Hold that up," "Let me see that," "Hey what's that blue thing?" "Does that treadmill look like it works?!".

It was one of these moments when the luck struck. I noticed two boxes of outdoor lamps and asked if that's what was really in the boxes. Zach obligingly went to check. Oh the excitement in his eyes! He held up, not a rusted light fixture, but a bottle of wine! A chilled, unopened bottle of 1997 Nissley wine. Squeals of excitement erupted as the reality of the situation hit us. FREE ALCOHOL!! The Kreider in me knew I should be eager to take the rusted light fixtures and 'spruce them up', but the Swarr in me screamed 'Alcohol!!!!'

Ah the memory warms my heart. We finally gave up when it became too dark to see and Declan started begging us to take him home, but the night ended with a toast to Mt. Gretna and big trash night. A toast with our very own, very special, free alcohol. Thank you Mt. Gretna. Thank you.

Tales From the Darkside

2008-06-04T09:29:00.003-04:00

Alright. Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely do not like little closet doors. I haven't since I was a child. This is why:

In the early-mid 80s there was an amazing show on called Tales From the Darkside. It was a sci-fi/horror show that was along the lines of (but predating) Tales From the Crypt. Various writers/directors would try their hand at tales of horror, suspense and just plain scariness. Make note that I did say mid-late 80s. 1984, in fact. And to be more specific, the particular episode I am going to discuss came out in November of 1984. So, if you do your math (and you happen to know my birthday), that would put me right at 5 yrs and 7 mos old-ish. Why my parents let me watch this, I have no idea. It may be because I was a whiny, little, stubborn child. Or it could be the same reason that they let me watch Watership Down. Although the more I think about it, I really appreciate watching things like that. That way, I have already tasted raw fear, so everything else that should scare me, seems fairly mundane.

Regardless, I have graciously added the intro here for your viewing pleasure.

There's one episode of this show that stands out in my mind (2 actually, if you include the horrid Christmas episode, I'll post on that one near the holidays). The episode that scarred me for life is called 'In the Closet'. In it, a college student needs a room to rent off campus because all of the available rooms on campus are taken. So naturally, she ends up boarding at a creepy old mansion from a creepy old doctor. Through the days (or rather nights), she comes to realize that there is something living in her closet. That something tries to lure her into the little closet by putting enticing little objects in it from time to time, i.e. a necklace, a china doll, etc... Eventually, the creature goes into her room and hides under her bed. You see red eyes under the bed as she sits down, then the thing swipes at her feet as she brings them up to lay down (just in time). Giving up, it goes back in the closet. Then, the next night, the girls decides to sleep with a flashlight. Idiot. This is what happens:

See? That's why I hate little closet doors.

Answer Time

2008-05-31T10:18:00.009-04:00

Alright. Maribeth and I sat down and have answered the questions that were asked of us. It was actually a lot of fun, so we may have to do this again in the future. I hope we've answered them to your liking.

(for me)
Do you enjoy not wearing the pants in your family?

Yes, I enjoy it very much. Actually, I don’t see the family roles as wearing pants vs not wearing pants, I see it as more of a 3 legged race where neither one of us is wearing pants.

(for both of us)
Would you bake Michelle and I [Dean] some bread with pepperoni and cheese in the middle and we'll come over the next time we both have a weekend off to hang out?

Yes…you tell us when and we’ll make the bread…

(for both of us)
If you won 10 Million, would you give me [Archer] a million of it? And how many of your friends would you neglect?

After much discussion on this (good question by the way), we’ve decided that you’re the only friend we’d neglect. Just kidding…actually, if we were to win 10 million dollars, we’ve decided that instead of giving 1 million to 9 friends, we would give $10,000 spending cash and a $50,000 investment plan to many more people. Plus maybe a kick ass party too.

(for both of us)
What are you guys doing for fun these days? In fact, what's the best day you had in the past two weeks?

The best day we’ve had in the past 2 weeks was the weekend we got together with a few of my Marine friends and their families. It was just a relaxing day of fun, beer, games and grilling. Not a care in the world. Aside from that, our fun is really just working on the house and chugging away at the day to day. Good family = good fun!

(for Maribeth)
If you could pick a dream job for both yourself and Mr. Swarrior, what would they be and why?

There are a lot of jobs that would make Zach happy. I think he should be writing for a living or doing cartoon voices. Then of course there would be time for puppeteering and inventions on the side. The thing is, he could do just about anything he put his mind to, he just has to decide what it is he wants.
My dream job is to help abused kids. Ideally, I would have a huge horse farm and use the horses in the therapy process for the kids.

(for both of us)
Which 80s sitcom character would you be and why?

Zach: Well, my initial thought was Michael from Knight Rider, but then I’d have to spend my life as David Hasselhoff and I don’t see myself liking that too much…so after much thought, I think the best option for me would be Capt. H.M. Murdock from the A-team. There’s nothing better than being clinically insane, blowing stuff up, and hanging out with BA Baracus.

Maribeth: My first thought was Punky Brewster. She had more coolness in her pinky toe than this little Mennonite girl had in her whole body (plus I'd end up looking like this). Ultimately though, what could possibly be better than the ability to take a nail clipper, a table leg, and a rubber band and make a nuclear time bomb? Final answer: MacGyver.

-zs & mb

The gears are a-turnin'

2008-05-29T08:40:00.002-04:00

Ok. Maribeth and I are working on answering all of the fantastic questions you've all posted.

Just for the record, here are the questions:

1. (for me): Do you enjoy not wearing the pants in your family?

2. (to both of us): Would you bake Michelle and I [Dean] some bread with pepperoni and cheese in the middle and we'll come over the next time we both have a weekend off to hang out?

3. (to both of us) If you won 10 Million, would you give me [Archer] a million of it? And how many of your friends would you neglect?

4. (to both of us) What are you guys doing for fun these days? In fact, what's the best day you had in the past two weeks?

5. (to both of us) Which 80s sitcom character would you be and why?

6. (for Maribeth) If you could pick a dream job for both yourself and Mr. Swarrior, what would they be and why?

Some of these are really good questions. Check in through the weekend, because the post with all of the answers is going to go up. If you have any last minute questions, post them in this comments section asap.

Idea Theft

2008-05-14T12:39:00.003-04:00

Ok. It's been a little while since we posted and I must admit it was not due to laziness. We both have so many things going on right now. Between side projects and working on the house, we've been unable to find time to blupdate. However, I've taken all of my creative skills and put them to work on finding something to blog about and I have come up with this fine solution: nothing... So I've decided to steal someone's else's idea (which is somewhat creative in itself...).

Over at the 'Fun With the Schaeffers ', Dean came up with a very interesting idea. He gave his readers a chance to ask any question and both he and Michelle would answer said question. Now I won't speak for Maribeth, but I'm game. In the comments section of this post, ask your question. Ask it either anonymously or by name and it will be answered.

My disclaimer is this: As the king of the realm called 'Swarr Family, Inc.' (unless Maribeth is in the equation, then I am just a peasant), I reserve the right to not answer or to not answer fully said questions based upon my own discretion.

So there you go. Ask away, dear readers of the realm.

-zs

Car Pool

2008-04-25T16:30:00.002-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Zach and I have begun carpooling as much as we can, but some days its just not possible. Those days are extremely frustrating seeing as we both have to drive over 15 miles to work and our offices happen to be several blocks apart. Even more frustrating is when we have plans after work and end up following each other all over town. As irritating as that may be, it did lead to a rather interesting discovery.

Apparently, if you are down the road from another car, one of you has an ipod, and you both have your radios tuned to the same station, you BOTH get to listen to the ipod music. Pretty snazzy, eh? I thought so. I ranted about this coolness for days.

Hmph...

2008-04-18T15:29:00.004-04:00

I just went to the bathroom and I accidentally peed on the corner of my shirt. Guys, you know how you hold the corners of your button down shirts up so they don't get whiz on them? Yeah. One of mine fell...right into the line of fire. I thought, no worries, I'll just tuck it in.

Nope...it soaked through.

Now I look like one of those guys who doesn't shake after he pees.

I don't know which is worse, that or the truth.

"George Washington CD"

2008-04-08T19:30:00.016-04:00

On March 29th, Swarr Family, Inc. took a little trip. Now if you ask anyone of the adults that went on this trip (and I use that term loosely), we'd say that we went to Washington DC. However, if you were to ask the youngest of our clan where we went, he would tell you we went to George Washington CD...

It was a nice, low budget, weekend trip that I had planned a few weeks ago. It ended up being a good little getaway. We drove down Saturday morning and dumped our bags at our hotel, then we took the Metro to The National Zoo. That night we ended up searching for a place to eat and we ended up at The Elephant and Barrel. I must say that Maribeth and I (and Declan) had a fantastic meal. I say this truthfully: This was one of the best meals that I had in years. Fish and Chips (mine had salt and vinegar), steak crostini and a Guinness.

Day 2 took us to the National Mall. We went to the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum and then to the World War II Monument and on the way back to the car, we swung by the Washington Memorial (I might add that for some reason, Declan think that George Washington died in it...).

So now that you got the short and sweet, here are the pictures. Enjoy!

Here's little man on the Metro. He was trying to take it all in.

After a little walk , we arrived at the National Zoo...we never saw a Sloth Bear though...
Awesome cheetahs. Their area was right next to the zebra cages...

peeking Gazelle...

The ever so boring Emu
This is a wolf...not a fox. And its pee is stinky
hungry hungry panda
and after it eats, of course
WE FOUND UNCLE GABE ON A PIECE OF TRASH!!!
sleepy pygmy hippo
The world's largest rodent species. Here you go mom. A Capybara.
a normal size hippo...these things are huuuge! ...and lazy.
A wild horse that only Maribeth can say the name of.
Ask Declan to stand like a meerkat the next time you see him. It's cute. Cuter than this thing anyway.weird monkey.
Self explanatory. click the arrow in the middle if you don't get it.

Rikki Tikki Tavi...er, um. I mean...a mongoose.
Gorilla...and that's a tree trunk next to it, not a giant stone boob.Tiger #1. Sorta scary.
Tiger #2...SUPER SCARY!!
Mommy and Mr. McGoofysmile.
Daddy and Mr. McNotpayattention.
This was cool. They tied 1/2 a head of lettuce to a hunk of driftwood and dropped it in...eat up, guys.
close up.
He didn't move at all. Declan didn't believe me that it was real...even when it did open its eye.Relaxing with some toons after a long day at the Zoo.

Day number 2 takes us to the Smithsonian (here's the castle).
...and here's the Natural History Museum.

After the long track across the mall and up the steps with a stroller (only to find we can't take our drinks inside), Declan and I "cheers" to a good time.

The elephant.
If you look hard, you can see the T-Rex skeleton.
A Pterodactyl. Declan even knows what it's called. Good job, buddy.
Monkey skeleton. pretty cool, eh? Yeah? well...scroll down.
These next 3 pics are ancient sloths. They are about 8-10 feet tall (or more when standing upright) ...awesome!

Mr. Sabretooth.
Giant not-so-woolly-anymore, woolly mammoth.
Ok...minus my brother, this caveman family actually looks just like my family in the 1980s...armpit hair and all.
He's NEVER gonna eat again.Ok then it was off to the Word War II memorial. Absolutely breathtaking. There were three 'towers' like this which represented the 3 major theaters of the war.
Each of the smaller towers represented the 50 states.

Each of these stars represent 100 Americans who died in World War II. In case you can't count them all, there are 4,048 stars.
On the way to the Washington Monument, Declan fed this duck pretzels. Yay!
Then it was on to the Washington Monument...
And the biggest Declan in the world!

Be vewy vewy qwiet...

2008-03-24T20:51:00.019-04:00

Easter 2008. The morning was great. So was church. We had a fantastic Easter dinner which is still hindering me from ever eating again due to the sheer magnitude of food I packet into my gullet. And I will say again, great job Maribeth. The bread was fantastic.

Then it was time for the third and largest Easter egg hunt of the day. At the Swarr de la Senior household, egg hunts are do or die. Good thing for lil man I'm not allowed on the hunting grounds anymore or there'd be elbows and tears abound. But we're training him up real good. Starting out with an empty basket, the lil man does not look too happy...

Then he finds a few and things are looking a little more promising...maybe around this tree.

They're supposed to be around here somewhere...maybe by the shed. Or down this way...ooo look!

To the victor go the spoils...

And a huge sense of satisfaction.

Challah Back Youngin'

2008-03-22T20:31:00.008-04:00

I am writing this on the eve of Easter Sunday 2008. This Easter is not very different than all of the other Easter 's here at Casa de Swarr. The only thing that really prompted me to write this boils down to the fact that we are going over to Maribeth's sisters to have Easter lunch with her and her husband. Again, not very different...getting together with family for Easter. And (big surprise here) we are taking something to contribute to the oh so wonderful event of holiday, mealtime overindulgence. We were asked to take bread. Again, no biggie. However...

Yesterday Maribeth and I were discussing what we wanted to take and we decided to bake bread from scratch. Scratch meaning yeast, flour, etc... OK, in case you don't know, I love being in the kitchen. However I really love baking. Especially bread. So when Maribeth actually got excited about making bread from scratch, I was excited too. I love when she takes on new things. Especially something I enjoy doing or at least something she can do and I can vicariously get excited through her. It's great.

So there we were, looking through the bread book (aka, my second Bible) and we found a recipe for Challah. I will use this time to point out the absolute irony of making a Jewish bread for an Easter Sunday meal and taking the time and making it on the Sabbath. I'm sure that if my mother was Jewish, I would never hear the end of it...ever.

So the time came and Maribeth started mixing all the ingredients. I was sleeping on the couch, I think, so she was actually having to reference the book for explanations of terms and techniques instead of asking me (which is probably a good thing because I have a habit of teaching by doing, not just telling...and that would have led to me just doing it myself).

So the recipe proceeded according to plan and I must say that Maribeth did an outstanding job mixing and kneading the dough. Then it came time for her to put lil man down (aka bedtime) and I had the task of beautifying the loaf. In this case braiding the bread. The recipe called for three 'strands' of bread, however, due to my fantastically uneven division I ended up with four even pieces that I braided together. I must say, I think it looks a lot nicer this way.

So then Declan went to bed and Maribeth took over the final steps of applying the wash and poppy seeds and chucking the whole kit and caboodle in the oven. 45 minutes later...the end result:

Great job Maribeth. Easter Day will tell, but I bet it tastes as good as I assume it will.

-zach

Meet Lucy and other stuff

2008-03-21T07:54:00.009-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

We finally bought a card reader, and boy do I have pictures to show you! First, here is the [most] neurotic member of our family, Lucy:

Quite ladylike, no? She still annoys the crap out of us (Arty most of all), but she seems to have edged her way into our hearts, so I guess we'll keep her. Although if she ever pees on our bed again......

Right. Less blogging more pictures. Next is one of Zach's brilliant ideas for Thanksgiving. If one of us is ever to stay home with the kids on a permanent basis, it will be Zach. I would make them wash dishes and clean their rooms. Zach? Not so much:

More Thanksgiving - seriously, do you see the smile on this kid's face? Leave it to Uncle Gabe:

Here's one more recent picture to get you through the day. Much more to come, but they all have stories to go with them.

That's Capital

2008-03-06T13:42:00.005-05:00

Last night was family fun night, as is every Wednesday. It doesn't matter what we do on these nights, so long as we do it together. Last night Zach decided to make this particular night a bit more special. After the adventure of making chicken quesadillas together and trying to get Declan to eat his dinner in less than 3 hours, we cleared the table. Lo and behold, under Declan's plate was a note in Daddy's handwriting. It was a clue. I was excited, Declan was not. "What has keys but no locks? What makes music so we can dance?" Declan was convinced it was the door despite the obvious logic. We finally clued him in that the door in fact does have locks and most definitely does not make music, so the next logical answer is the piano. He still didn't get it.

We made it to the piano though, and thankfully the rest of the clues were much easier. Declan and I ran all over the house discovering new clues in places such as "where we put the clothes to dry" and "where Declan lays his head to sleep." It was picture perfect family bonding time.

What I didn't know was what the prize waiting for us at the end would be. A lollipop for Declan? A sticker? Two stickers? Oh how I continue to underestimate the man I have chosen to endure life with! There was not a lollipop or a sticker or even two stickers. There was not even a new toy for Declan. Instead there was a detailed plan of our already booked and planned out trip to Washington DC. I. Am. Stoked. I can't wait to take Declan to the zoo and the Smithsonian and the Museum of Natural History....... We are seriously going to have a blast and I can't believe how awesome Zach is for planning this whole thing out.

"My" game.

2008-02-21T13:45:00.007-05:00

Ask any gamer what 'their' game is and they'll be more than happy to not only tell you what it is, but they will tell you every aspect of it including their own personal crowning achievement whilst playing it. That game for me is Bionic Commando.

It's a NES game from back in the day. It's absolutely fantastic. You're a soldier with a bionic arm who is on a mission to plow through an entire enemy army, rescue a POW and destroy a top secret doomsday machine designed by a man who not only looks identical to Hitler, but is also cryogenically frozen for decades only to come reanimated at the most climactic part of the game. Crazily realistic, huh? I think so too.

I'll tell you what, that game is utterly fantastic to play. Your bionic arm allows you to not only grapple on to just about anything and swing around, but you can also hit enemies and grab little 'ration cans' for additional life.

So now that I've told you all about 'my' game, I need to tell you my crowning achievements. Most of the time you'll hear, "I can beat the game without dying once." Yeah, I can do that. Then you might even hear, "I can beat the game and get every item and find every secret." Done and done. Typically what you don't hear is this: "I can beat the first 3 levels with my eyes closed without dying." Yeah...that's right. And you've probably never heard this, "I can beat the game one handed." Yep. One handed.

Needless to say, Bionic Commando is my favorite game. Ever. That's one of the reasons why I have such mixed feelings about the fact that it has resurfaced in the gaming world. I am overjoyed because it's a new Bionic Commando game, but I'm saddened because Capcom is releasing the game through Sony and Microsoft, not through Nintendo.

However not only is there a new game coming out, there is also a new version of the original game coming out. Meaning, it's the exact same game only it's received new graphics, better bionic arm features and simultaneous two player action. But alas, no Nintendo.

So all in all, I still love Bionic Commando and I will continue to play it until the day I die. Now I just need to figure out a way to get an XBox 360 and the new versions without breaking the bank.

I'll keep my fingers crossed on the hand I'm not playing the game with.

-Zach

Look, a picture!!!

2008-02-11T13:41:00.002-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

The camera card reader still doesn't work. I don't know the facts - all I know is that parts of our computer don't work and that makes me very grumpy. Maybe not grumpy. More like perturbed. Severely perturbed, that's it.

Anyway, still no pictures. No pictures of Lucy our new cat (does 4 months still count as new?), no pictures of Christmas, no pictures of Declan's 3rd birthday party, no pictures of the changes we've made in the house.... nuthin. I suppose we should just buy a new card reader, but we already have 2 that we were only able to use once or twice each, and dammit I don't want to spend money on something I just bought 2 weeks ago and shouldn't have had to buy again for 2 years!!!!!! Perturbed.

Ok how's this:

We don't really let Declan watch El Tigre a whole lot, partly because its too fast-paced for a 3 year old, but mostly because we don't have Nickelodeon and its rarely on demand. We try to let him know though, that 'this is your Uncle Gabe's cartoon so you should think its the coolest thing ever.' Hasn't really worked. Thankfully McDonald's was willing to help us out here and agreed to slip El Tigre toys into his Happy Meal (they really do make you happy).

Before you all condemn us here, we tried to avoid the fast food thing with Declan, but you have to understand... we slipped once, and ever after there is no food on the planet that compares to chickennuggetsandfrenchfries. Not only is chickennuggetsandfrenchfries the best ever food, but it will cure anything that ails him.

"My tummy hurts, wahhh"

chickennuggetsandfrenchfries

"I'm sleepy and grumpy, wahhh"

chickennuggetsandfrenchfries

"WAHHHHH"

chickennuggetsandfrenchfries

See? The choices are to refuse toilet food and stay up all night preparing organic yummies, OR concede the fact that people have been eating toilet food for 50 years and the worst thing that has happened is that they are fat, unhealthy and gross. The winning choice is obviously my God given right to a smidgen of sanity.

Am I off track? Where was I? Oh yeah, El Tigre. Well since the toys have entered our household (how dare you accuse us of having 4 of each character!), Declan finally gets the picture. I mean he mostly gets the picture. He runs around yelling "WHITE PANTERAAAAAAAA" and plays with the toys and still thinks Uncle Gabe is the best human being ever. I guess the only thing we're still stuck on is the whole 'dual personality' thing. He doesn't get that Manny and El Tigre are one and the same. That causes some major confusion let me tell you. Oh and it doesn't help that he has seen the episode where Frida steals Manny's belt and becomes La Tigressa, because now he's convinced that El Tigre is a girl therefore he couldn't possibly be Manny in disguise and so on and so forth.

Really Big Rodents

2008-01-21T15:43:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

I always thought that kids tend to get overly excited about little things. Which isn't good because if you get overly excited about every little thing, you tend to be let down an awful lot. Well. Turns out when you have kids, you become just as bad.

For example, last Wednesday we took Declan to his first movie in a theater. The only kid friendly movie was Alvin and the Chipmunks. Not entirely thrill inducing, but since it has a lot of music, we thought it would suffice. I got super excited about the fun we would have and about telling our wonderful blog readers all about the great fun we had and I was convinced Declan would be talking about it for days (weeks!) afterward.

There I go, underestimating the level of grandeur now required to wow our little (almost) 3 year old. The movie? Just another movie. The popcorn? Good for a while. The fact that the screen was the size of our house - meh. Not so much. The most exciting moment of the whole evening? Trying to sit down and realizing that the seats are folded up. And if you run down the row flipping down all the seats it's really cool.

Oh well. It may not have been overly memorable, but we had fun and that was the point.

Mini-Schaeffer Has Arrived

2008-01-17T09:04:00.001-05:00

It's official. Dean has created life and it now walks among us. Well, poops, eats, cries and lays on its back among us.

I don't want to steal his thunder in the details, but I was provided with the following FIRST PICTURE of baby Schaeffer. Enjoy!!

Congratulations, Dean and Michelle.

~The Swarrs

Don't touch me

2008-01-15T15:17:00.002-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Over the past year and a half, I have steadily been going blind. The fact that I can't read road signs and have to walk halfway down the grocery isle to read whether what I need is actually in that isle or not has been getting on my nerves, but what finally prompted me to visit the eye doctor is the fact that I can no longer read the show listings on our little Comcast menu. Do you know how horrible it is to actually have to flip through the channels rather than perusing the menu? There's this little delay between each channel that makes flipping truly agonizing.

After about 500 phone calls to ensure I selected a doctor in the network, I made it to the eye doctor today. Now I really don't mind the eye doctor (seeing as the alternative is the dentist which is truly worse than death)(no offense Charlie, I'm sure you're a fabulous dentist, I just haven't had the pleasure of your superior dentisting skills), but I really am not a big fan of that little puff of air they blow at your eyes - scares the shit out of me every time. Well let me tell you. My fancy new eye doctor doesn't use the little puff of air. Oh no. They numb your eyeballs and then poke them to see how squishy they are. That's right. My eyeballs are completely numb right now and they do NOT feel happy.

And as a side note, a bunch of lettuce and some dressing is definitely not enough to nourish one for an entire day. Add a few chickens, a loaf of bread, some side dishes and then we're on the right track.

I need a new button

2008-01-11T08:58:00.001-05:00

When I get home today I am going to have to find the button jar and search for a new button for my pants. I truly don't recall how it came off, although I have a good guess as to why most buttons become detached. I did keep it in the pocket of my pants just in case I would be feeling ambitious one day and sew it back on. It's not absolutely necessary because I also have one of those metal tab/hook that works just fine...at least until one side of it gets bent or pulled out. So all in all, I'm ok to leave my button in my pocket until the time comes to restore it to its full potential of being a button.

Well, I thought it was ok...until this morning that is. When it all went wrong. You see, being 28, I already find myself having to take medication daily. One pill to prevent daily migraines (can I get a sarcastic 'yay,' people?). So until the day comes when I no longer have to take the meds, I must consume them faithfully. And because I am me, I sometimes forget. Last evening was one of those nights. I forgot to take it. And I forgot to take it when I left the house this morning. I only remembered it when I had to run back in to grab the phone that I forgot and while I was there, I also grabbed the pair of jeans and a shirt that I forgot (notice a pattern yet?).

So I shove the pill in my pocket and run out of the house. I get to work and I remember my pill.

I reach in my pocket, put my pill in my mouth, drink and swallow.

Crap. That didn't feel like a pill. It was a little bit too big.

Stupid button...

-zs

Friends

2008-01-08T08:59:00.002-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Declan has a best friend. I'm not quite sure how it happened as they've been best friends for at least a year now. Its not like they could have chatted it up in their first and second or even third years of life. But somehow they decided they liked each other and time has not weakened the bond. Should you think I am exaggerating when I say 'best' friends, let me enlighten you:

- When asked what he was thankful for over the Thanksgiving holidays, Declan immediately piped up, "My Isabel!"
- On days when Isabel is grumpy and sleepy, the only way her mother can get her out the door to daycare is to remind her that, "Declan is there waiting to play with you"
- Declan is constantly picking up acorns, leaves, cookies, etc. claiming they are to give to Isabel the next day

Since Declan is a lonely little mongrel with no friends outside of school, we decided a play date with little Isabel would be a good idea. This morning we bumped into Isabel and Isabel's Mom (parents don't have names at school, they are simply ____'s Mom/Dad) and set a date. Declan went from a sleepy, carsick lump to an excited ball of energy. He said something like, "We're going to play with Isabel and we're going to have so much fun!!!!" but really it just sounded like one long word.

Yeah they're best friends. I feel quite comfortable betrothing them now and avoiding any possible high school drama that may otherwise have occurred.

By the way....

2008-01-03T16:25:00.002-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

The holidays were wonderful. Christmas was a whole lot of fun with too many gifts received and not enough given, my birthday was fine and relaxing, and New Years was the salve to any remaining stress. We did miss a few of our brothers and sisters an awful lot, but that is what happens when we all grow up, marry, and move across the country.

Declan actually behaved very well for having his insides replaced with sugar and then being overloaded with gifts. I may be a scrooge when it comes to getting ready for Christmas (I actually tried to convince Zach not to put a tree up this year), but I truly love the holidays and the time it gives us to enjoy each other.

Next is Declan's birthday, mere weeks away. This is what I have to say about that - Do you people have any idea how big our house is? No seriously. His toy room is now located in the back yard and I could care less if it is only 20 degrees out. "You want your toys, boy? Well bundle up and go play, I don't care if puzzles don't work with mittens!"

He has great toys actually, but you know what? He doesn't play with them, not because he's spoiled and doesn't like them, but because he doesn't have time. We all get home, throw some microwavable dinner down our throats, try to play/tidy up/bathe/remove the year old pumpkin from the front porch/pay bills for a few minutes, and then it is off to bed before we realize we've made it home. If you want to do something for Declan for his birthday this year, plan a date with him. Enjoy him and let him enjoy you. He is the sweetest, funniest, most lovable little guy, and his young life is slipping past us. He loves his family so much, and I guarantee he would love a day with you more than any other gift you could give him (not that he won't run around the house screaming about another Thomas or Lightning McQueen t-shirt...).

Bombs Away

2008-01-03T15:57:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Potty training sucks. Especially when the kid involved has no interest. There is nothing worse.

So when we are not horribly irritated by his straddle walk after he has let cry, "oh no I peed in my pants!" we try to take the laughs we can. Lately, the laugh comes with the poop. Rather than telling us he has to go or heaven forbid sitting on the little green and yellow toilet we bought just to make pottying easier for him, he leaves. He goes to another room. And when we go check on him he dramatically puts his hand out to stop us, "No Mommy! Don't come in here! It's gonna be stinky." Unfortunately I never retain enough composure to get the little squirt into the bathroom before making the room stinky, but at least I get some joy out of the day.

Cheap fix

2007-12-27T09:25:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

I have been putting off any blogs because the ones that need written really require pictures. Unfortunately our camera card reader has stopped working (the one that we have only used once). For now I'll have to write sans pictures, and if I'm super lucky, I can get the card reader working and the pictures updated.

The first item of business is our pet situation. Being devastated as I was about losing Oliver, I conceded one day to a family trip to the Lancaster Humane League. The argument was that Declan had been extra good and looking at a bunch of cats in cages would be a special treat for him. My condition: "We are absolutely not getting a cat today."

Let me tell you, getting married, having a son, and needing to take responsibility for everything in my life might have turned me into a cruel, stone hearted witch, but when I crash, I crash hard. The moment we stepped into the room of playful kittens and snuggly cats begging to be adopted, I knew we would be making an addition to the family that day.

I told one of the do-good high school girls what I was looking for in a cat and she immediately told me which one was for us. So I went into a room full of free roaming cats to check the proffered cat out. He was fine, but nothing special - just a cat, and after Oliver, there was no way I would be settling for just a cat.

Enter Teena. Little white and black cat that decided my lap was the perfect place to cozy up and relax. That was all it took. We informed do-good high school girl of our intentions and in response we received, "No, you don't mean Teena, she's not friendly. All she ever does is hide in the litter box. Show me which one you were holding." Ha!! In your face! Teena doesn't like your teeny bopper ways, but let me tell you, she is all about a 3 year old dragging her around by her neck!!!

Needless to say, the first thing we did (even before getting her home) was change the name. Teena became Lucy about 2 months ago and has since survived numerous vet appointments, many traumatizing moments with Declan, and some very harsh words from me after she peed on our bed. She's actually turned out to be pretty nice. We still have a few kinks to work out, but she is very sweet and snuggly and puts up with Declan regularly. With age and practice, she might just live up to Oliver standards. Either way, she has definitely helped to fill the space he left in our home.

Snow Day

2007-12-13T11:48:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

There are days that I will complain about having to leave work every single time Declan is sick, vomits because he ate lunch too fast, feels hot because (duh) he just woke up, or his daycare just doesn't feel like being open that day any more. Don't let me fool you. What could possibly be better than a fool-proof excuse to ditch work and hang out with the coolest 3 year old on the block? Seriously. The work will still be there tomorrow and praise the Lord if it isn't, but Declan is growing up so stinkin fast. Those days when its just me and him hanging out at home waiting for Daddy to join us - they're the best.

Declan's daycare just called and is closing. The weather sucks today, our cars and the roads are coated with ice, and I'm dreading the drive home that will likely be extended to 2 hours due to said ice, but I'm leaving in an hour and then - then the day is ours baby!

The Bus Rocks

2007-11-30T09:44:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Last week I dropped Declan off at school in the morning and was told he may be able to join the older kids for their field trip to a puppet show. This was a pretty big deal being his first trip out and first bus ride and first puppet show... but it was still uncertain if there would be an extra space for him.

I waited anxiously all day, wondering what tales our little man would have to tell later that night, if any. At home that night, we asked Declan all sorts of questions: "Did you go anywhere special today?" "Did you get to play with the older kids today?" etc. The answer to all was an uninterested 'no'. Sadly, Declan must not have been able to go.

Or so we thought. The next morning on the way to school we passed a school bus and Declan piped up, "Mommy I rode on a school bus!" I think he may have peed himself in fear with my uproarious, "What?!" (its ok he still wear diapers so no harm done) (except that he's still in diapers which totally sucks).

So after lots of questions, I discover that he had gone to the puppet show, had ridden the school bus, and hadn't told us. Honestly. Apparently Declan isn't to sure about Marionettes though. I asked him if he had fun and all I got was, "eh, sort of." Seems there was a scary monster that died (did you know there was a monster in Cinderella??), but the school bus was fun (duh, he got to sit next to Isabel).

So there he goes, having adventures, doing new things and mom and dad are oblivious. Maybe we'll book him for a communication class.

The Red Violin

2007-11-19T09:22:00.001-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

First I want to warn you all against the rapid decline in quality writing in the Swarr Family blog. Why? The great writer of the family and composer of said blog (Zach) has decided it is time for him to move on and try new things. i.e. I told him to get up off his *** and make something of himself by doing some real writing. Okay that's not quite how it went down, but you get the idea. So from now on, I (wife of good writer) (who in contrast happens to have no writing talent) will be in charge of updating you on the family's goings on. And here my friends, is the kind of stuff I get excited about:

We bought a painting. At my urging. Me. Miss penny pinching, tight wadded, stodgy scrooge authorized the spending of many dollars on an item that does not fit into the category of "absolutely necessary for continued survival on Earth." What the hell? I give Zach a hard time for spending an extra $2 on brand name shampoo! But I couldn't help it. We do stupid things when we're in love. Here is the love story of me and my painting:

My father-in-law is an artist. Some of his stuff I like, some of it is not as much my favorite (did I skirt around that one well enough?). Well.... the moment I saw the Red Violin (the name I lovingly attached to her) I knew I had been ruined and would never truly love again. She was not complete when we first met, but that didn't stop my heart from fluttering.

Like the start of all relationships, this one started out with a lot of doubt. 'She's too good for me' and 'She deserves a better wall than what I can provide for her' and 'What if she meets someone else'. Nevertheless I continued to visit her in Dad's studio. I even went to see her when she was moved to a gallery to display herself for anyone who dared walk by (the little slut). Jealousy ensued, but I was reserved to the fact that a Lititz art snob could give her a better home than I ever could.

Weeks went by and we saw each other only in passing. We exchanged pleasantries, but the atmosphere was cool to say the least. Then came the studio tour in which I knew she would yet again be displaying herself to the world. I was prepared to deal with it, until we got to Dad's studio and saw the crushing news: All Items 50% Off. What?! At least before she was demanding a decent rate! How could she whore herself out like this? I left in a rage of disappointment and confusion. Now any slum could walk in off the street and leave with her on his arm - it was anyone's guess what kind of life she would end up in. Through my hurt and anger, I simply knew I could not let that happen. Zach and I were well on our way when I finally spoke the words I had been hiding from for so long, "Honey, we need to buy her." I prepared for a long discussion with arguments worthy to convince him that it was for the best, but all I got was, "Okay. You'd better call Dad or it'll be too late." He had known all along. My secret love affair had never been a secret.

Well the Red Violin came home last night, and although we have little wall space, we made a cozy little spot for her, and there she will stay until Zach hits it big with his superb writing skills and we can buy her a new wall that is truly worthy of her.

Roar... tiger-like

2007-11-14T11:41:00.002-05:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

I was going to write a nice long story about Halloween, but when it comes down to it, this is all there was:

Mommy works on tiger costume for days
Family walks in Mt Gretna parade on Monday, during which there is a torrential downpour and said costume is all but ruined. Trick-or-treat night? Wednesday. I have 1 evening to remake Tiger.
Tiger shabbily remade, trick-or-treating a success despite crazed rush from Lancaster to Morgantown.

He knocked on the doors and said trick-or-treat all by himself

Post trick-or-treating:

Declan learns he is not allowed to eat 3 lbs of candy at 8:30pm, even if he did just work for every piece of it.
Our beautiful 2 year old magically transforms into a raging, screaming, spitting, writhing mass of evil.
Said mass of evil is forcibly strapped to car seat (give me a break - I could have lost a limb) and proceeds to scream the entire 40 minute ride home.

I think he fell asleep at some point that night, but I've erased the majority of the event from my now frail mind.

Next year we'll give him door duty.

Oliver Swarr: A Tribute

2007-10-22T19:51:00.000-04:00

We were actually hesitant to get another cat, but we talked it over and decided that Arty needed a friend. We went to the local shelter and I started to look around at the cats. Maribeth walked in the room and within 5 minutes had a tiger striped cat out of its cage and in her arms. It was the fastest bonding I had ever seen between an animal and a human. We found our Swarr.

We got him home and naturally he was hesitant of his new surroundings, but by the evening he was sitting on the couch with a little Declan hovering inches from his face. They exchanged sniffs and kisses and then whack. Declan hit him on the head with a Gameboy and under the couch he went for almost the rest of the night. If my memory serves me, I actually think he slept on our bed the first night and just about every night since.

He was fantastic. An instant part of the family. His bond to Maribeth was very strong and very visible. He wouldn't ever let me hold him for more than 6 seconds and he rarely slept on my side of the bed. When she had a bad day he would follow her and love her just the right amount. He was always there to greet her (and I) and never missed an opportunity to make it known that he was hers.

His patience with Declan was outstanding. He let Declan poke and prod. Explore and tug. Tickle and snuggle. And all the while he was happy. He would intervene with Declan at just the right times to get him to relax or help him do what we were asking. It was almost creepy, but he truly did.

Oliver was one of those cats that comes along once in a lifetime. He was an extremely loving cat who would always curl up on your lap. He would follow you around, but never get underfoot. He would nuzzle with you when it was needed and keep his distance when the time was right.

Although he was only living in this house for about a year and a half, he has more than earned the right to be a lifetime member of the family. He helped make this house a home and he will be sorely missed. And although (I'm sure) many other pets will grace the halls of this house, he will be the one to whom we will compare them all.

So to you, Oliver, we say, "Thank you. Thank you for coming into our lives and our hearts. You will always be with us."

-Your family

Arty's Test Results...

2007-10-08T13:39:00.000-04:00

Ok...as all of you know, Oliver had Feline Leukemia. Feline Leukemia is very contagious and is transmitted mostly through saliva. Just for learning purposes, I'll break this down as simple as possible: Once the virus enters the body, it travels to the nearest lymph node. It uses that lymph node to replicate itself to the point where it enters the blood stream. If the immune gets defeated it then infects the rest of the lymph nodes and replicates itself on such a scale that it ends up killing the cat (or becoming semi-dormant yet embedding itself in the bone marrow, blah blah blah).

So given the fact that Oliver had it and he and Artemus played together and shared the same food/water dishes, we've been hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. Maribeth took Arty into the vet today to get him tested. As always he acted like the spawn of the darkest Hellcat. They took what they needed for testing and gave him a quick once over. Except for fleas, everything else seemed in order. Then it was back in the crate, devil-cat.

Now as most of you know, Arty is "my" cat, so I was extremely anxious for the results. After losing Oliver, losing Arty would have been equally, if not more painful. So I called Maribeth to see if she had heard anything and she had not. So I called....I spoke with the vet tech.

Artemus' test results: Negative. >sigh< Joy of joys.

That was very unexpected, but well needed news after losing Oliver. I asked about us getting him retested after 3 months or so and she said there is no need. If he was that exposed to Oliver and he didn't get it before now, he won't get it. So no worries.

The only thing we can think is that Oliver had it before we got him and it just chose to resurface when and how it did and he just couldn't fight it. On the other hand, we got Arty as a kitten and he had all of his shots, etc.

So here's to you Arty. Good job.

Up next: Oliver's Tribute post.

Find upon finds!

2007-10-05T16:03:00.000-04:00

So I've been perusing Google's patent search engine as of late and I usually come across some really cool stuff. The patent forms are very interesting to me because they not only have to contain a full description of the invention, but also a picture. I've also been fairly disappointed because it seems that every good idea I have, some schmuck thought of it, patented it, and is now squatting on the patent and not marketing their product/invention. Ah well.

I've actually found the patent for for a baby brain cooling device and also the patent for for the push pin. However, today (10 minutes ago, actually), I came across the absolute coolest patent form I have ever witnessed. It's for a toy gun which is convertible into a robotic humanoid form.

Yup. You guessed it. I found the patent for Megatron...

UPDATE: There is actually a whole SLEW of Transformers patents. That zany Takara.

Change of mood

2007-10-02T09:11:00.001-04:00

It's been a very sobering week. It is strange to not see Oliver around the house as we used to. It's a definite change. It's different. But different is a part of this world and so is change. I'm working on a nice tribute page for Oliver...to celebrate the joy and friendship he brought to out home rather than just mourn his loss. So be patient.

But for now we'd like to lift up the mood of this blog by talking about something stress free and relaxing: the holidays. I know, I know. I was just kidding. The holiday season is one of the most stressful and non-relaxing times of the year. But you have to admit, it's a fun stress.

First is the spooky Halloween holiday. Halloween's origins are actually not very well known to most. If you have time, go here and read about it. As far as costumes go, I think we've narrowed it down to two options so far for lil man. I know I need to come up with a costume as we're having a work party again this year, so the only one with no costume is Maribeth, unless we have a party to go to. Any ideas?

The next one on the list is Thanksgiving. We all (I assume) know the origins of Thanksgiving, but if not, here you go. Declan is already talking about this one. All he needed to know is that Uncle Gabe and Aunt Karla are coming to visit and all of a sudden he's asking "When are Uncle Gabe and Aunt Karla coming to give us thanks?" ...every day. It's going to be a long wait until Turkey Day. I love the innocence in him how he broke down that word to think that on that day we all give each other "thanks" (as presents).

And lastly, is Christmas...I'm not even getting started on that one....all I have to say is this, this, this and last but not least...this. I am excited...for all but the last one. That was just weird.

So...let's all jump into the holiday season head first and have some fun!!

p.s. If my memory serves me correctly, I owe all of you a blog entry entitled, "Santa Nuts" this year.

goodbye my friend

2007-09-26T11:32:00.001-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

Oliver is gone. I stayed with him last evening, holding him and watching him - hoping for a glimmer of a will to live. I could make his death a long story, but I would rather not just now. Suffice it to say I travelled to the vet this morning and then brought Oliver home to be placed in the grave lovingly dug by Zach and Declan.

I have never been a cat person. Dogs are much better - loyal and true and joyful. But Oliver was all of those things. He loved us from the moment we found him at the shelter. Of course Oliver belonged to all of us, but there is no doubting that he was "my" cat. He curled up next to me in bed at night - he was rarely far away if not sitting on my lap. Even Declan got along well with Oliver. Oliver was fond of laying in the middle of Declan's puzzles and was always happy to give a kiss or rub to him. There aren't many cats that are patient enough to enjoy a 2 year old.

A lot of changes went through Oliver when he got sick, but he never lost his love and kindness. He purred all through his visits to the vet, and snuggled in my arms anytime I wanted to hold him and love him. He truly was a great cat, through and through, and we miss him desperately.

Thank you Oliver, and may you rest in peace.

Oliver: Update #1: The Plan

2007-09-25T15:18:00.000-04:00

After a lot of thought and heartache, Maribeth and I have come up with a game plan.

The vet's outlook was bleak. She said she believes he may have 2 days at the most. He hasn't been eating and that is definitely not a good sign. So without food, even if he fights this thing, he's not going to make it. His liver and kidneys could be infected already (from not eating).

So to put Oliver's needs first, we've decided to schedule an appointment with the vet to have him put to sleep. That appointment is set for Thursday evening. So what the plan is is this:

Tonight I'm going to force feed him some wet food. He needs to eat. There's no denying that. If he keeps that down, that's a good start. Then we see how he's doing tomorrow night and force feed him again. If that stays down, the appointment gets canceled and we take it one step at a time.

If I force feed him tonight and he can't keep that down, then we keep the appointment and just make him as comfortable as possible.

Wish us luck and keep the Swarrs (especially the little furry ones) in your prayers.

I'll let you know how it goes...check back for more posts.

Diagnosis: Feline Leukemia...Prognosis: not good

2007-09-24T11:49:00.002-04:00

This isn't an easy post. Oliver doesn't have much time.

Just to give you an overview of the events, about 3 weeks ago, we found that his Lymph node was swollen under his chin on the left side. None of the others were, so we kept an eye on it for about a week and a half. No change. So we decided to schedule an appointment with the vet. Better safe than sorry.

So while all of this is going on, I had purchased a different kind of cat food...oops. Arty was doing ok with it, but Oliver didn't seem to like it at all. He wouldn't touch the stuff. A couple days before his Saturday vet appointment, he started throwing up and having diarrhea. He also looked very thin. We called the vet and bumped his appointment up to Friday. And by this time I went and picked up a bag of their usual food (which they both started to eat- however Ollie kept throwing up).

On Friday, Maribeth took Oliver into the vet and they checked him out. Aside from him losing approximately 2 lbs, he was fine. The Lymph node was back to normal size (which the vet didn't think it was his Lymph node anyway. Tard. Obviously it was) and the vet attributed the bowel/stomach issues to his lack of food intake.

However throughout the weekend we noticed that Oliver wasn't eating and he was just overall bad. He had taken to sitting around and sleeping and doing nothing and still pooping all over. We couldn't get him to eat anything substantial and what we could get him to eat was just thrown up within 10 minutes.

So off to the vet again. Maribeth took him in and this time the outcome wasn't so good. I don't know numbers, but he lost more weight, he was running a fever, he was dehydrated and on top of all this, he has fleas (which is odd, b/c he's an indoor cat and neither Arty nor the house show signs of fleas). So they pumped him full of liquids and drew blood to see what was up. They tested some of the blood in house and sent the remaining out to a lab.

The in house testing showed that his white blood cell count is extremely low. That's never a good sign. As far as the lab tests, they found the culprit: Feline Leukemia. From what the vet said, it's just a matter of time. A few days at most and that's the best they could give us. The fact that he's no longer eating is not a good sign. His chances of getting through this are slim to none.

So...I would say that at the rate of things, by week's end we'll be down one Swarr. We also need to get Arty tested. He may have contracted it too.

It's rough. He's good cat and a good friend, especially to Maribeth. He's her boy.

We'll keep you posted.

Playing Ketchup

2007-08-23T14:39:00.000-04:00

We haven't posted in a little bit so I'll try and "catch y'all up" (ha ha).

The yard sale was not very successful for Swarr Family, Inc. I think we ended up selling $7 worth of crap, but the Schaeffers did great, so I guess it wasn't a total loss. And yes, the yard is still there.

The house is coming along nicely. The stairwell is painted (thanks to the wonderful Maribeth) and most of the pictures have been hung. They look really nice so far. It makes a huge difference. It's starting to feel more and more like a home than a work in progress. As for my honey-do list, I think I'm going to kick myself in the you-know-what to build the box for the can lights above the bartop. That will make a huge difference. I'll take before and after pics so you can see my craziness in action. Hopefully I'll have enough gumption to get up early Saturday morning and measure, go to Lowe's and start cutting. Then, come early afternoon it's off to my company picnic.

BUT FIRST...it's off to Hersheypark tomorrow! No work and no phone calls. The Nelsons and we are going in the morning and not coming home until we ride every ride twice. Lil man will be at daycare and then he'll be picked up and sat on, er- babysat for the evening so it's time for fun fin fun. Keep your fingers crossed that the weather is great and that Maribeth feels 100%. She's been fighting something lately.

So let us get through the weekend and hopefully we'll have before and 'during' pictures of the lights above the bartop and possibly some Hersheypark and company picnic pictures. So that will mean lots to blog about.

Maribeth and lil man. San Diego '07

Talk to you in a few days...

-zs

Saturday! Saturday! Saturday!!

2007-08-10T09:04:00.000-04:00

Yard sale at the Swarr's...

you'll come and buy our crap if you know what's good for ya.

60 + 60 = 60? A Birthday Celebration for the Ages!

2007-08-02T06:17:00.001-04:00

Hello students. Let's jump in the time machine and go back to math class. woosh! There we go. See? Time travel was quick and painless. Who knew? Here we are. Math 101. Oh look there you are listening intently. Let's listen too.

"...and if you take the square root of 3600, multiply that by the sum of 357/459 and 28/126, then add the number of ghatikas in the ancient Hindu day (being sure to take into account the proper aging and manipulation of the vitis vinifera) you'll easily see how we get the answer."

Uh. OK. So maybe going back to math class wasn't the best of ideas to understand what's going on. woosh!! (Back to the present time) Let me just break it down for you:

Take 60 years. Add 60 paintings. And you get 60 bottles of wine. OK, so you don't normally, but this Saturday you do. No it has nothing to do with the once-in-a-lifetime alignment of Pluto and Uranus.

It's because Fred Swarr (aka Dad) is turning 60!!! And to celebrate this great milestone, he will be painting 60 painting in 1 day! You heard it: 60 PAINTINGS!! ONE DAY!! On Saturday, August 4th from 7 AM until 5 PM it'll be paint paint paint in Mt. Gretna (directions here). Then, at 5 o'clock you (yes, YOU!) will be able to get one of these momentous paintings for the mere price of a bottle of wine. Now that's a deal you can't beat anywhere. Snazzy, huh?

Ladies and gentlemen, feel free to come out at any time to see the master of majestic mayhem paint a plethora of perfect and priceless paintings. Well....by "priceless" I mean "the price of a bottle of wine".

This is a once in a lifetime experience!!! So play your part and help an old man get enough alcohol to last him until his next birthday (or at least until next week). If you don't feel like giving up a bottle of wine, at least come out and cheer him on. After all it is his 60th.

Make us proud, Dad! Paint away.

-The Other Swarrs

HEAR YE!!! HEAR YE!!!

2007-07-25T16:56:00.001-04:00

One more Swarr off the market. Check it out! Way to go, sisters!!! You made all of the PA Swarrs happy and PROUD!!!!
GO, T AND AMANDA! GO!! Woo Hoo!

From the Tuesday edition of the Seattle Post Intel.

tired. but satisfied.

2007-07-24T09:15:00.000-04:00

Last night was was an odd night. As I stated, my mom was watching Declan, so we cleaned the house very fast and sat down to finish HP and the DH [don't worry...still NO SPOILERS]. Although I had the amount of chapters accurate, the page count was wrong. We had around 270 pages to go. So we read and read. Again, we couldn't stop. Before we knew it it was time to pick up lil man. The events in the book were already in motion so we had a hard time stopping. But alas: no choice.

I laid down with Declan to get him to go to sleep and he did around 10:00. I walked over to our bedroom and there was Maribeth: in bed with the lights off. I bugged and pestered and grumped, eventually getting my way. The lights were on and we were reading again. Then around 11:30 we turned the lights off with sighs of near exhaustion. We still had 70 pages to go. I was so anxious I couldn't sleep. I wasn't even tired and Maribeth knew it. She was happy that I made the choice of sleep over keeping her awake o finish the book, but apparently there must have been something chewing at her too. After about 6 minutes she said, "Ok. You can read."

It didn't even dawn on me what she had said. Then, after a second or two it clicked. I was out of bed faster than Dudley on a cupcake. Book in hand, glasses on my face reading. I was going full throttle. But realizing the reality that we both have to work the following day I said that we can read until 12:15ish. If I didn't finish, I told myself, it would have to wait until tomorrow night.

However, by the time 12:15 rolled around, things were so intense in the book that we both lost track of time. We pressed on and finished the book at 1:37 AM. Utterly fantastic. Totally worth it.

So I realized, there comes a time when one is reminded of what one has. I was reminded last night of what I have. I have a stubbornness beyond all measure. I also have a beautiful, loving wife that would do anything for me and who understands (mostly) how my brain works. This morning I realized that last night's events were attributed to the latter of those two. Although I know that the former played a part at times :)

Thank you for staying up and finishing the book with me.

-Zach

Harry Potter- NO SPOILERS!!

2007-07-23T09:11:00.001-04:00

[No Spoilers here!]

Ok...first off I just want to say that we are still reading the book. And obviously, others are still reading too. So I won't post any spoilers nor will I tolerate any in the comments section...they will be deleted and you will have problems.

Maribeth and I have been pushing through reading the book aloud and we have only 10 more chapters to go (plus the epilogue from what I hear). I'm being told that the ending is amazing!

All I will say thus far is that the book is an utterly fantastic roller coaster of story and emotion. Wow! I CANNOT WAIT TO FINISH!!!

My mother has graciously agreed to watch the lil man tonight so Maribeth and I can finish the book (thanks, Mom).** When we do finish, I still will not post any discussions until it seems that the Harry Potter fans out there start resurfacing from their spoiler protected hidey-holes. I don't want to ruin it for anyone.

So if you are reading this, please post in the comments section whether or not you are still reading and also when you are finished...I can't wait to talk about it.

Happy reading Potter-fans!

-The Swarrs

**If you try calling our house or stopping in unannounced tonight you will be ignored. I don't care if you look in the window know that we are home. Unless you are bleeding profusely and are in need of medical attention, you will be completely ignored. My feelings won't be hurt in the least.

My job

2007-07-19T13:27:00.002-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

While working for a living usually isn't fun (I would much rather spend my days hiking through the mountains and hanging out with Zach and Declan), I have to say that I am lucky enough to have a job that I can enjoy. And on the days I don't enjoy it as much, at least I can believe in it and feel good about what I am doing.

For those of you who don't know, I work at Mission Research makers of GiftWorks. We make fundraising software for nonprofits. Ummmm..... who cares? It's just a software company.

But see that's not the point. Our CEO (frustrating though he may be) has this vision that we are going to make the world a better place. He's one of those people who can turn a piece of software into the idea that we can help enough nonprofits who can in turn help more people (or animals or whatever) and then our world will be great. Ok so I don't say it as well as he does. The thing is, every person I work with thinks like this. We are all here to help the world one nonprofit at a time.

I have never experienced a place like Mission Research. While it is not the same as taking a journey to Romania to help the horribly condemned orphans, I can come to work everyday hoping that what I do will further the cause of those working to save those same orphans.

I'll admit it, I'm an idealist. I am convinced that if we all do these little things to help the world, eventually it will all add up and we will find ourselves living in a better place. And if that is not the case, well, at least I will have done my part and will feel that I have done something good with my life.

Our new endeavor is SustainableNonprofit.org. This is our attempt to bring the world of nonprofits and nonprofit experts to one place where they can share their experiences, problems, issues, insights, and whatever else is on their minds. Like Mission Research, it might not change the world, but if we help just one nonprofit who makes a difference in multiple lives, we will have done something good.

~ Maribeth

Blah blah blogging

2007-07-12T08:56:00.000-04:00

Alright. It has been fairly uneventful at Swarr Family Inc. lately and that's not necessarily a bad thing. With the upcoming Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (which we have nearly a dozen people going to see tomorrow evening!!) and the 8 days away release of the seventh and final book, I attribute the lack of goings on to sheer disbelief (for myself anyway). I honestly don't know how I'm going to control myself when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows hits the shelves...and my hands. So because of the lack of eventful things, I am going to blog about uneventful things. Yay! Like to hear it? Here it goes.

Declan and I were riding in the car this morning and he had his first taste of classic They Might Be Giants. I played 'Flood' for him and more specifically, 'Particle Man.' He loved it. His little arms were up and he was wiggling. "Dance, lil man. Dance." I explained to him that Daddy and Uncle Gabe listened to these guys and they are a lot of fun. All he heard was that Uncle Gabe liked them, so now they are "Uncle Gabe's favorite songs." Regardless, listening to old TMBG was a little nostalgic this morning. It was a good break from NPR and Harry Potter audio books.

Last evening was also uneventful. I decided to light a little fire relax. I pulled the fire pit over to the middle of the patio and then I got some matches. Next I needed wood, so I shifted some wood on the woodpile and in a torrent of grossness, around a hundred earwigs scattered across the patio. I started smashing them with the fire-poker and then set that down to use a piece of wood and my feet. Lil man picked up the poker and started hacking away at them saying, "Bad bugs. Those are the ouchy ones that pinch."

After lil man went down for the night, Maribeth and I finished watching Pan's Labyrinth. I don't want to speak for Maribeth, but I know I felt it to be a little disappointing. I liked it. Don't get me wrong. Conceptually is was great, but I thought it was a little lacking. The previews and reviews played it off to be much more along the lines of Mirrormask, only darker. Overall I guess I was just expecting more fantasy world and less real world. Ah well...it was still good.

So here we are again. After some much needed sleep, another work day started and the morning ritual of sending back and forth email forwards and crazy internet pictures began...I stumbled upon this site which I absolutely must try. The many uses of flies never cease to amaze me.

I'm a geek. But not a sell out.

2007-07-06T08:26:00.000-04:00

Well I went to see the new Transformers movie and I must say that I liked it. Liked. Not loved. I attribute most of that like to the fact that I had such low expectations for the movie ever since it rolled into production.

Let me just start by saying that I am a huge Transformers fan. I have been since they first came out. My childhood was The Transformers, G.I. Joe, He-Man, etc...80s classics. I will also say that I have the entire 80 issue run of the Transformers comics, Headmasters miniseries, G.I. Joe/Transformers crossover, Transformers Universe, etc... I will even tell you that I was very excited about and still love to read and re-read the Transformers: Generation 2 series. It was good. They did a great job. So hopefully you can see that I am not a total purist when it comes to the Transformers. I love G1, but I also watched Transformers: Beast Wars (somewhat reluctantly). And naturally, I got caught up in the new Dreamwave TF series, but that died when they crapped out X amount of spin-off titles.

Like most everyone else, when I heard they were doing a live action TF movie I was excited. Who wouldn't be? After a lot of convincing (by myself and others) I decided to not pass judgment until I saw the movie. That was hard, because that meant that I couldn't see or hear anything during the production period. What made it nearly impossible was that a certain individual -cough-Dean-cough- would try to tell me every blasted thing he read on every fansite in the world. So needless to say I did hear some mumblings and I did see some images. Most made me unhappy. But I still reserved judgment.

So judgment day arrived. It wasn't off to a good start: I didn't sleep well the night before, my back hurt, I had a headache and it was Independence Day (I have much better things to be doing than sitting in a theater for 2 1/2 hours...). But again, I kept an open mind and tried not to go into the situation with a crap attitude. I got a big tub of popcorn and ice-cold Cherry Coke. That cheered me up. The previews came and went. Then it was time...everything went dark. And then you heard it. The awesome, rumbling voice of Peter Cullen. Fantastic. Also, you hear the ever classic transformation sound (albeit the only time in the movie). Fantastic. Then you see Cybertron...not fantastic. But Peter Cullen is still talking, so that makes it tolerable. The nostalgia hadn't worn off yet.

I'm not going to sit here and type a play by play of the movie. But I will recommend seeing it. As a movie with giant transforming robots, it's amazing. From the eyes of a TF fan...I didn't like it.There were a million things I'd change and I won't list them all, but I will say two words: Welker and Frenzy. Two of the worst decisions of the movie. Another big gripe is this: because Michael Bay screwed with the look of the TFs and made them all look the same (aka 'crap'), it was very tough to tell what was going on in the battle scenes. The cinematography was all over the place and it moved very fast. So a lot of the time you're just trying to figure out what you're looking at as opposed to seeing giant Rock 'em Sock 'em Robot battles.

To end this post on an upswing, Shia LaBeouf was the perfect choice. Absolutely hilarious. His delivery was killer and his acting was right on for the movie. And don't get me started on Megan Fox. I'm just glad she could act too. In fact, the casting (with the exception of Welker) was great. There were a lot of unnecessary characters in the movie, but overall it was good. Again, I recommend going to see it. But go see it not as a Transformers movie, but as a big transforming robots movie. Big robots and big explosions should be seen on the big screen.

'Til all are one...

-Zach

Here we go...

2007-06-25T16:55:00.000-04:00

I like blogging. I think it's a lot of fun. I also like reading blogs. Sometimes I pick random blogs on this site and just start reading. It's cool. You never know what you may find. Try it sometime, just look at the top of this page and click 'next blog'...

However, I have noticed that over the last 2 weeks or so a lot of the blogs haven't been updated (or in our case 4 weeks-ish). But I have a feeling that it may be because of how busy this time of year is.

In our case, we've been busy too. Between my brother's wedding and the upcoming 231st Day of Independence (please don't call it the 4th of July...it's the 4th of July in most countries...here it is Independence Day. Respect it.).

Gabe and Karla's wedding was SPECTACULAR! We had such a great time and the ceremony and reception were beautiful. I just wish we could have stayed a little longer, but alas...

I must add that little Declan had his first In-N-Out burger...and LOVED it. Congrats, little man.

Loose Ends...

2007-05-22T10:43:00.000-04:00

Alright...I want to finish up with the Florida vacation posts because the luster is quickly fading away. And I'm starting to forget a lot. The reason for the delay in posting was because I hadn't been able to find the USB cable to transfer the photos from our camera to our computer. Thank you technology! That fact combined with the new patio we built in the back yard and Maribeth's graduation...it has a busy time. HOWEVER!! Lo and behold the cable has been found, the patio has been built and the edumacation graduation happened!!

So...Florida trip Day 2: Turn Left at the Walgreens...

Sunday was supposed to be a day of swimming with manatees...with our good friend Dave, whom we hadn't seen in ages. So that means...good day: planned; dumb day: reality.

The manatee place was about 2 and a half hours away, so we set out around 5 AM or so. Driving, driving, driving...turned left at the Walgreens...listen to the weather...lots of rain predicted, gale force winds...turn off the radio...driving driving driving...turned left at another Walgreens...phone rings. Manatee dive: canceled. Damn. We were so close. Apparently the winds and such were too nasty on the bay to do anything. However the weather was still nice where we were.

So we took a vote and decided to drive to the little town where the place was and see what else there was to do. We stopped at a gas station and the clerk said there is a cool zoo. "Oh", says I, "How does one get to this zoo you speak of?"...
clerk: "drive down the road you're on for about another 20 minutes and then (you guessed it) turn left at the Walgreens."

Wow. We drove, turned...then we got rained on. And rained on. So we gave up and decided to go back to the hotel. It was one of the wettest drives I have ever EVER driven. And believe it or not we turned at 3 more Walgreens on the way home.

The day was then filled with lazy TV watching and naps. Although the weather cleared up in the evening enough for us to go to Downtown Disney and eat at an awesome Cuban restaurant, Bongos...Once there, we decided to sit outside. Bad idea. It was sooo windy and cold I had to walk down to a store and buy a $42 Pirates of the Caribbean sweatshirt to keep a certain member of our party warm. After my expensive excursion, we ordered our food. I ate something awesome that I unfortunately can't recall the name of. Maribeth had something that she didn't like, so we ended up picking off of each other's plates. It was all good to me.

So the night turned into a fun, drinking, walking and talking time with the Swarrs and Dave. It ended up being a lazy, but still enjoyable day.

Lesson to be learned: If you are ever in Florida and you get lost, make 3 left turns at 3 different Walgreens and you'll be fine.

Up next: Florida Trip: Day 3 aka Busch Gardens: Part 1

We're Smart

2007-05-15T10:54:00.000-04:00

There was a last minute change in my plans this past weekend. I thought I'd have to settle for just getting my degree from Millersville in the mail. I didn't think I would be able to attend commencement for my graduation.

However three days before the ceremony, I found out that I had the opportunity to. Unfortunately not everyone could make it as it was so last minute, but I know everyone was there in spirit and that was enough for me.

It was a beautiful day and it felt so wonderful to participate in something that always seemed so far away and at times almost impossible to reach. What an amazing feeling...

I am finally done.

Weekend Surprises

2007-05-07T09:15:00.001-04:00

By: Mrs. Swarr

I have to interrupt Zach's Florida stories (uh... story) to share the excitement of our weekend. Saturday was an important day in my college career. The last day in fact. I had 2 finals to take and then all that's left is to wait for the diploma to come in the mail. It’s about time.

Anyway, Zach promised me Saturday. He promised he would take Declan out for the day so I could study and take the final tests of my lifelong schooling. Well. Saturday morning he decided he would rather get the patio finished than allow me to take my finals. For those of you who were unaware - Zach and I were working on a brick patio in the back yard for our summer enjoyment. Needless to say there was quite a bit of arguing on the subject. In the end, Zach refused to back down and I decided I wasn't going to argue about this any longer. What’s one more day when I have already put a good 20 years into my education already?

Well, we worked on the patio from 8:30am until 4:00pm. I am so stiff and sore I can hardly move. Mom was kind enough to pop over around 11:00 to play with Declan, give him some lunch, and put him down for a nap (Thanks mom!!). Then, after we finished the patio and I was preparing to take my first final, finally, Amy and Erik showed up.

me: Hey. What are you doing here?
Amy: We were shopping and thought we would stop by.
me: Why were you shopping the whole way down here?
Amy: Well this is the closest Lowe's to us.
me: Oh. Well do you want to stay for supper? I am going to make this great new chicken recipe. Oh and you can help me take my test!
Amy: Ok. But we're not hungry.
me: Oh. Ok. Later then. Wanna help me with my test?
Amy: Sure.
me: Ok. Dammit. The internet is out. Well let's go sit and relax a bit until Declan wakes up. HEY. Dean's here. He must have stopped by to see how the patio turned out.

At this point I am still clueless, and pretty much reserved to the fact that my finals will be waiting until tomorrow. We are all outside admiring the patio when Zach puts his arm over my shoulders and says, "ok honey. Confession time."

Oh crap. What does he think I did? What did he do? Is he going to accuse me of something in front of Dean and Amy and Erik????

And then the words of my impending fate are spilling out of my husband's mouth, but it doesn't sink in. What?
... for you...

What?

....graduation... for you...

say again?

we're having a surprise graduation party for you

and in walks Mom and Dad Swarr.

and Aunt Debi and Tom

and Mom and Dad Johnson

and it hits me.... Aunt Debi asked about some party. Zach kept delaying my test taking. Amy and Erik “weren’t hungry.” A million other hints. I was clueless. I didn't get it.

and it hits me again..... there was actually a valid reason for Zach insisting that we finish the patio today. Zach has fully surprised me for the first time in our blessedly long and eventful relationship. I am speechless. And I am having the time of my life.

Afterward:

Sunday I took my finals and passed with flying colors. Thank you to my wonderful husband and fabulous sister for planning such a great evening. Thank you to my extraordinary family and friends for being there for me the entire way through this process. I never could have done it without you. Finally, thank you for being there to celebrate the most wonderful day of my life - followed closely by my wedding and the birth of my son. Ok so I guess maybe it doesn't beat those out, but man it feels good to be done.

Florida Trip: The Joys of Publix

2007-05-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Ok. It's time to blog about our Florida trip starting.....now!

Florida Trip Day 1: The Joys of Publix

After a very pleasant and surprisingly non turbulent flight (and after putting our tray tables and seat backs in their original and upright positions) we started our descent into Orlando...

Our plane arrived at the gate Saturday April 14th around quarter 'til 4. After moseying down to the baggage claim and claiming our baggage, we then took a courtesy van to our car rental place which was surprisingly nice. Although the last thing I was expecting to hear upon arriving in Florida was a heavy Brooklyn accent from our van driver. We went through all of the rigamarole at the car rental place and it was off to the hotel.

Check in was flawless...but then we had to wait 20 minutes for a parking pass which we were informed was highly necessary and important yet put in our windshield all but twice with no problems whatsoever.

We went to the room, unpacked, sat down for all but an hour, made all of the necessary "We got here" phone calls and it was off to the grocery store...Publix. We had a little kitchenette in our room and decided that it might be nice to make a meal every now and then.

Grocery shopping on vacation was a little weird, but we found that the 'Publix' brand foods had very nice and refreshing packaging, so that made it enjoyable...well that and the fact that once you're outside our great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania they sell alcohol at grocery stores, convenience stores, pizza shops, etc...Everywhere except at a 'State Store' (which incidentally, no one outside of PA knows what one is).

After spending way too much on groceries, it was back to the room. And if my memory serves me, it was an evening of nothing but relaxing and enjoying the jacuzzi tub...with beer and wine purchased at...you guessed it: Publix.

Good first day.

Up next: Florida Trip Day 2: Turn left at the Walgreens...

Easter struggle

2007-04-27T10:28:00.000-04:00

We're home from Florida and I have a lot of posting to do about that vacation. Unfortunately, this week has been a hectic catch-up-from-vacation kind of week. SO...I just thought I'd post a little something from Easter to get you through to next week.

Enjoy the chuckle....

The Sunshine State

2007-04-12T10:22:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to tell all of you a little story:

Back in December, my company hosted a Christmas party. At the party Santa handed out gifts to each couple in a unique fashion. Each couple in turn, would be called to the front of the room and one person of the couple would be voted as 'naughty' and the other person would be 'nice'. The 'naughty' of the two would pull a gag gift from Santa's bag and the 'nicer' of the two would have his/her pick of a gift from a present filled table.

To anyone who can say the word 'Swarr', I'm sure you know which of us got the gag gift and which one got the real gift. Anyway, I ended up getting some velcro-ball-dart-board-Family Guy thing and Maribeth picked a gift off the table. Said gift was handed to her and unwrapped. Upon unwrapping, she was asked (by Santa no less), "Is that what's really in there?"

Maribeth then opened the box and found a metal briefcase. The briefcase was opened and an envelope was inside. Santa then stated that "inside the envelope is an undisclosed amount of cash. You can either take that cash and be done or you can take an all expense paid (hotel, flight, rental car, spending cash) 7 day 6 night vacation to either Orlando or Daytona Beach, FL."

As you may have suspected Maribeth took a little while to choose between the 'selfish' FL vacation and the 'practical' gift of cash (of course which would be promptly used toward bills and the house). As you may have also suspected, she did get a little emotional (as did I). Everyone clapped and cheered and we hugged.

Santa later told her she made the wiser of the two choices.

So we are now packing to go to the Sunshine State. Little man will be staying with her sister and we will be embarking on an adventure filled with Cirque du Soleil, horseback riding, manatee snorkeling, hang gliding and more horseback riding (whew!).

So wish us luck, safe travels and we'll see you in a week or so...

-zs and mb

Patience and honor....

2007-03-26T15:35:00.001-04:00

As you may recall, in typing these posts I wanted to bring to the forefront some stories that were lost in the shuffle of war. The first posts were from Iraq and Afghanistan because I can relate to those wars (being an Iraq War veteran). However I wanted to also find stories and events from other wars in our country's past. I decided to pick Vietnam this time. I started poking around and I found so many recollections and stories I wasn't sure if I'd be able to choose just one or two. Personally, I wish I could post them all.

One of the events I chose to post was about man named Alfred Rascon. He was a Specialist in the US Army; a medic assigned to a Recon platoon. What he did didn't impact the outcome of the war and I think it is a safe wager to say that this story was rarely told beyond his family and friends who knew him. It would have never been put on the 6 o'clock news in March of 1966...after all, he wasn't even an American citizen. He was from Mexico.

The Republic of Vietnam, 16 March 1966...Specialist Fourth Class Alfred Rascon was assigned as a medic to the Reconnaissance Platoon, Headquarters Company, 1st Battalion (Airborne), 503rd Infantry, 173d Airborne Brigade (Separate).

While moving to reinforce its sister battalion under intense enemy attack, the Reconnaissance Platoon came under heavy fire from a numerically superior enemy force. The intense enemy fire from machine guns and grenades severely wounded several point squad soldiers.

Specialist Rascon, ignoring directions to stay behind shelter until covering fire could be provided, made his way forward. He repeatedly tried to reach the severely wounded machine-gunner laying on an open enemy trail, but was driven back each time by the withering fire. Disregarding his personal safety, he jumped to his feet, ignoring flying bullets and exploding grenades to reach his comrade. To protect him from further wounds, he intentionally placed his body between the soldier and enemy machine guns, sustaining numerous shrapnel injuries and a serious wound to the hip.

Thinking nothing of his wounds he dragged the larger soldier from the fire-raked trail. Hearing the second machine-gunner yell that he was running out of ammunition, Specialist Rascon, under heavy enemy fire crawled back to the wounded machine-gunner stripped him of his bandoleers of ammunition, and gave them to the other machine-gunner who continued his suppressive fire.

Specialist Rascon fearing the abandoned machine gun, its ammunition and spare barrel could fall into enemy hands made his way to retrieve them. On the way, he was wounded in the face and torso by grenade fragments, but disregarded these wounds to recover the abandoned machine gun, ammunition and spare barrel items, enabling another soldier to provide added suppressive fire to the pinned-down squad. In searching for the wounded, he saw another comrade being wounded by small arms fire and grenades being thrown at him. Again disregarding his own life and his numerous wounds, Specialist Rascon reached the soldier and covered him with his own body, absorbing the blasts from the exploding grenades. He saved the soldier's life, but sustained additional wounds to his body.

While making his way to the wounded squad leader, he saw that grenades were being hurled at the sergeant. Again, in complete disregard for his own life, he reached and covered the sergeant with his body, absorbing the full force of the grenade explosions. Once more Specialist Rascon was critically wounded by shrapnel, but disregarded his own wounds to continue to search and aid the wounded.

Severely wounded, he remained on the battlefield, inspiring his fellow soldiers to continue the battle. After the enemy broke contact, he disregarded aid for himself, instead treating the wounded and directing their evacuation...only after being placed on the evacuation helicopter did he allow aid to be given to him.

* * *
Now fast-forward 34 years. Tuesday February 8, 2000...President Clinton awarded the nation's highest military award to Alfred Rascon for acts you just read above. He was alive to receive it.

"Thank you for looking out for people when no one else could be there for them. You have taught us once again that being American has nothing to do with place of birth, racial, ethnic origin, or religious faith. It comes straight from the heart. And your heart, sir, is an extraordinary gift to your country," said Clinton.

Rascon was humble during the Medal of Honor ceremony, noting that the honor belonged to the people who were with him that day. He asked the survivors to stand and be acknowledged at the White House ceremony.

"What you see before you is common valor that was done every day. And those of you who served in the military -- and continue to serve in the military -- are very much aware of that. What you do every day, it is duty, honor and country. And I'm deeply honored to be here," Rascon said.

-zs

Nice Move

2007-03-19T10:00:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows it's true even though they don't want to admit it, active duty military personnel typically frown upon those of us that serve the military in a reserve status. We reservists have earned various titles over the decades: Weekend Warriors, Part-timers, Johnny One-weekend and my personal favorite, Uncle Sam's tampons (only used once a month).

However, in Operation Desert Shield/Storm the reserve component of the military really shut up active duty for a while...85% of the US forces in the gulf were reservists. Thankfully, this time around (in Gulf War II), I got the feeling that reservists were given a little more respect. I can at least say that the active duty Marines I was with treated me as an equal (thanks Yuma, AZ Marines).

One thing that I always believed is that if your civilian job coincides with your military job, 9 times out of 10, you will excel at your military job. Below is proof.

The picture taken was from Afghanistan in support of Operation Mountain Resolve in November, 2003. The Chinook CH47 helicopter is making a very unique landing to pick up some Afghan detainees suspected of questionable goings-on.

This is not the first time this pilot has made a touchdown like this. His name is Larry Murphy and he is from the PA National Guard. In the civilian world he flies EMS choppers in the Keystone Helicopter Corps.

A landing like this in the mountains of Afghanistan (or anywhere) is very tricky. They have to keep the chopper steady in the face of wind and possible small arms fire. Not to mention setting down on a building of questionable structural integrity.

It definitely takes a lot of talent and sheer nerve to pull this off.

Captain Chontosh

2007-03-07T13:17:00.000-05:00

The first post in this series isn't one that I would exactly call 'obscure'. Although the story has been told in email forwards and you can easily find it online, I doubt it was in many newspapers outside his hometown and it's never been on the national news from what I can tell.

This is the story of Brian Chontosh. He's a Marine officer. At the time of the war he was a 1st Lt. When I met him, he was a Captain.

Twentynine Palms, CA...Marines just call it 'The Stumps'. It's the home of MCAGCC (Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center). It's a place I've been half a dozen times. I went there for MOS School (Military Occupational Specialty School) in 1999 and I've also had the wonderful misfortune of going there another 5 times to partake in CAX (Combined Arms eXercises). CAX is an annual joint forces exercise where you become very intimate with your MOS in the desert...meanwhile there's a mock war going on all around you with tanks and jets and stuff. It's pretty cool and it truly is great desert training.

Because CAX is a combined arms exercise, the scale of the operation is larger than what one communications unit can do. Therefore, we not only utilize our equipment, but we sign out equipment from the base to use with ours. The downside is that we need to clean more equipment when it's all said and done. Cleaning equipment after a CAX is never fun. It's long hours and you have to be meticulous, but the worst part is that the gear has to be inspected before it is accepted and checked back in. So if the inspector is having a bad day, he can turn away your entire inventory if he finds one handset to still have dust in it.

So there we were in a giant staging area (aka parking lot) with all of our gear. The sun was a roasting 110 degrees and we were just breaking for lunch (or as Marines call it, chow). My marines and I were hanging out under an awning to escape a little bit of sun and this Marine walks up to us and starts talking. Obviously, we knew he was a Captain, so we treated him as such and began swapping war stories. The extent of his war story was, "Yeah, we saw some action. My Marines and I got ambushed a couple of times. We did alright though."

That was that. He told us to keep cool and have fun. Shortly after he left, another Marine came up to us and asked if we knew who that guy was. Obviously we had no clue. He proceeded to tell us this story (only with a lot more swear words)...

courtesy of vetsforfreedom.org :

On March 25, 2003, (then) First Lieutenant Chontosh, recognized his unit was caught in a “kill zone” on Highway One leading to Ad Diwaniyah in the initial campaign to Baghdad during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

After punching his vehicle through a breech, he was immediately taken under withering machine gun fire from a crew served weapon in a trench. Chontosh plowed toward the machine gunner, trusting his .50 caliber gunner to silence the enemy, which was done almost immediately. Chontosh then dismounted his vehicle and armed with only his M16A2 and a M9 pistol began to systematically clear the trench that his vehicle was now inside.

With a complete disregard for his own personal safety, Chontosh twice picked up discarded enemy rifles and continued his ferocious attack. When one of his Marines following behind found an RPG, Chontosh decided to personally use it to destroy another unlucky clump of enemy soldiers thinking they could overpower the brazen Marine.

When his dedicated and bold personal attack had ended, he had cleared over 200 meters of the enemy trench and lying behind him and at his feet were the remains of over 20 enemy fighters. For these actions, Brian Chontosh was awarded the second highest award given for combat valor, The Navy Cross.

The man standing next to Captain Chontosh is General Hagee, the Commandant of the Marine Corps.

Enough said...

-zach

The obscure and unknown

2007-03-02T15:59:00.000-05:00

Once again I write this and once again I apologize. It has been a long while since I posted on this blog. That will be no more. This blog will be updated at least once a week.

I know the last time I posted, the next story was to be entitled, "Santa Nuts". That is a story for next Christmas. What I would like to do this time is tell a story form my past. Although it is not really a story persay as much as it is an event. Rather a milestone for me...

My mother and I were sitting in the waiting room at Norlanco Medical Center. Not the main waiting room, the smaller one in the back hall. I'm not sure why we were there, but I'm sure it was for me. It may actually have been when I swallowed a screw from an Erector Set, but I'm not sure (that's a story for another post). Anyway, where we were and why we were there isn't as important to this story as you may think. We were sitting there in the waiting room full of Highlights Magazines and Ranger Ricks and I had picked up a copy of Time magazine. I was flipping through the stories looking at the pictures, when I saw this photograph from the Civil War:

I always remembered this picture vivdly and I was able to find it today on the internet with relatively no searching. I know the picture may be strange or difficult to look at, and it was for me too. I couldn't have been older than 8 or so when I saw it.

Thinking back, I really believe this was my first image of war. I had seen snippets of movies or read books, but there was something about this photo that stuck in my mind. It wasn't a major event. No helicopters and guns. No explosions or blood and guts. It wasn't in a jungle or in Europe. It was a few hours from where I was sitting.

At that time (and for the next decade) I never thought that I would have my own experiences of war. I wasn't an athlete or even that competative. No way would an independent, choir-singing, stage-acting, comic book reading, video game playing dork ever be in a war. But there I was around 15 years later standing in Kuwait. My rifle in my hands and my bags at my feet, looking at a camp where coalition forces were gathering in numbers getting ready to invade Iraq.

I remembered this photo while I was over there. Some of the guys and I got on the topic of Gettysburg and how I lived near there and how they always wanted to go there. Talking about how we'd all keep in touch, get together sometime and go there someday after the war.

This photo to me is now obscure. It's been overrun with experiences and images that are of greater significance to who I am. But I know that I need to never forget this image. It's where a major chapter of my life started. Thank the Lord it didn't end with that chapter.

Obscurity overrun by war is what I want to write about in the next few posts. I want to make known to you some of the war stories that I have come across. Not just the ones you see on the front page, but the ones on the back pages that are just a paragraph stating that John Doe was awarded such and such a medal on such and such a date with no other details given. Or that Little Johnny from Anytown, USA was killed in the war. Some of those John Does and Little Johnnys made a difference. Not a difference that impacted the course of history or the war that they died in, but a difference to those around them and to those who have heard their stories.

I doubt that the six or seven dead Union soldiers in the image above altered the outcome of the Civil War, but if you take your time or do a little digging into the news, you may just find something worth knowing. Something that should no longer be obscure. Not necessarily to the masses, but to you.

-zach

Poop Story #2: Poop Shovel

2006-12-20T09:30:00.000-05:00

Ok...time for the next poop story. I think you've all been waiting long enough. So here you go...

Around the same time that Oliver had his pooper poked, our pooper got clogged too. Toilets everywhere were regurgitating unwanted solids, things weren't draining, the basement was getting unnaturally wet, etc...

We had the problem about a month prior and we thought we were in the clear. Apparently not. The vent pipe in the yard had a new habit of vomiting used toilet paper and solid watse. mmmm.

So we called the Roto-Rooter guy. He came post haste.

In he pulls with his poop-mobile and he unloads all of his poop tools. I went in the house and start to do some work. After about 15 minutes, I look out in the yard and he was standing there staring at the vent pipe...I decided that if I'm gonna get this guy out of here within the first hour I should probably go help. Out I go. I started by making small talk blah blah blah. Then he told me that he seems to have hit something strange. I think, "Hey it's a drainpipe...There's probably all sorts of crap down there". Ha ha...heh...uh...ok that wasn't funny.

I asked if I could take a look and lo and behold there was something weird down there. Looking at it, I thought it might have been a dead rat. For a split second I imagined sitting down on the toilet and having a rat jump up at my jubblies. Not a good thought.

He got a really long stick and poked at it. 'clink clink' It wasn't a rat. My next thought was of us digging up the back yard because the pipe was broken. Thankfully, that thought was diffused quickly because it appeared to have moved when he poked it. So...the poop-man goes off to his poop-truck and comes back with another poop-tool. It's a really long metal stick with a little grabby-hand at the end. My thought immediately jumped to a sadistic proctologist's tool.

He asked it I could help him with it. We were going to grab whatever it was and pull it out. After about 10 minutes of "Ok...close the hand. Damn. Missed." We finally got a hold of what I thought to be the rat's tail. We lifetd it out and...it was a trowel. A very poop covered, worn looking, gardening trowel.

It was strange, but as soon as I saw it I knew exactly when and how tat thing got down there. Maribeth, Declan and I were all doing yardwork one day about 4 to 6 months prior. We got rid of a so-called 'decorative' landscaping feature: a round blob of rocks with bushes on it. Maribeth had the gardening tools out because she was gardening by the lilac bushes and I was scooping up the last of the rock-blob. Declan was behind me and I heard this 'clack clack clack'. I thurned around and there was lil man. He had popped the vent pipe cover off and was 'stirring' the weeder in the pipe and had the cultivator in his other hand. I grabbed the weeder, put the lid back on and got the cultivator from him...it never dawned on me that he had already dropped the trowel down the pipe.

Needless to say, I am glad we were able to retrieve the obstruction and this will definitely be brought up in his teenage years as leverage...I kept the trowel as evidence.

up next..."Santa Nuts"

Poop Story #1: Cat Bowels

2006-12-06T08:51:00.000-05:00

Well. It has been a little while since our last posting. This time we were legitimately busy. Before I go into the lovely subject of cat bowels, I want to backtrack and talk about the housework we wanted done by Dec 1st. The list was as follows (followed by the progress made):

1. a finished dining room (DONE!!...just needs some crown moulding and paint touch up)
2. a bartop installed (almost done. Needs trim and grout)
3. a countertop that doesn't move when it's leaned on (DONE!!)
4. hood over the stove (nope)
5. tin ceiling installed (we ordered and painted samples...we need to order the rest)

All in all, we're not doing too bad.

Ok back to the poop. Oliver seemed to be getting fat over the course of a few days, so when I came home and he was meowing and lethargic, we got concerned. He was running all over the house squatting so we came to the conclusion that his pooper was clogged. We called about 6 different vets but to no avail. They all referred us to the PETS emergency place in Lancaster. All other optins exhausted, we decided to call a friend of ours who works in a vet (assisting with surgeries and such). Angie came over with a little plastic bag full of stuff..."hmmm...what could that stuff be?" I wondered.

I didn't have to wait long. She opened the bag and pulled out a rubber glove and some KY Jelly. Here we go. On the tile floor with a towel in hand and a cat in the other she asked me to hold him down. Ugh...the glove goes on, next is the KY Jelly aaaand 'bloop'! In it goes. Ollie didn't like that very much.

After violating the cat we waited to see if things would get flowing again. Nope. Then the phone rings. It was one of the vets we had called. He said that as long as the cat is peeing, we should be good to wait until the morning but we should take him in to get an enema. Figuring that we traumatized Ollie enough we decided we would wait until the morning to take him to the vet.

The sun came up and Ollie was off to the vet. Maribeth took him in and all was well. It turns out that he wasn't stopped up at all...it was his peeper not his pooper. He had a urinary tract infection and his bladder was full. So medications were prescribed and passed along to Oliver's insides and he is doing much better.

Coming up next: Poop Story #2: Poop Shovel

"Hello, deer..."

2006-11-15T09:31:00.000-05:00

My Thursday night commute home always seems to be a fight to stay awake. It's not the most visually stimulating route. It's full of trees, road, trees and more trees. As pretty as they are to look at, trees too can get boring...

I picked up lil man and started on the treck home. Declan was in the back munching on pretzel sticks and we were both listening to a great mix of fun, Declan-friendly songs. Kermit and Fozzie were just about to lead into the second chorus of "Movin' Right Along" when lo and behold a deer magically appears in front of my car. I put my foot on the brake and swerved to the left (the deer was crossing from left to right, plus there was no opposing traffic). My headlights traveled over the deer's backside, across empty road and then..."Oh look another deer".

I was no more than 3 feet away from them. I moved my foot from the brake to the accelerator and swerved back to the right a little bit, aiming for the narrow spot of empty road between them.

Woosh! Right between them.

Declan got the sense that something wasn't right because as soon as we cleared them and I slowed down to pull over, he started crying.

I pulled over, put on my four-ways and hopped out of the car. Walking around the back to get to the passenger rear door, I checked the driver side of my car for deer snot and the passenger side of my car for deer poop. It must have scared something out of them. Clean car...all the way around.

Also, oddly enough I saw a police car coming down the road toward me with its lights on. I thought, "Great...I almost hit 2 deer and my prize is a ticket for speeding."

I opened lil man's door and he was still crying a little bit. I asked him if he was ok and he replied with a little, shaky 'yeah'. Then I started smiling at him and asked him if he saw the deer. Again I got a 'yeah', but it was a lot more excited and no tears followed it. So I knew all was well.

By now, the police car had made a U-turn and was pulling in behind me. I walked back around and got into the car like a good little driver. The cop walked up to the door, asked if everything was ok and if I had hit a deer. Declan started to get a little fussy again, but I proceeded to tell him that I drove between them and didn't hit anything. He asked if the little guy in the back was ok too. I told him 'yes' and that was that. Back to his car he went.

I found it odd that the response time to my near accident was less than 4 seconds. However, as I drove about a 1/2 mile down the road, I saw another police car parked with its lights on, another car in front of it and a deer lying in the road. That answered my question.

So all in all, I'd say that this commute home takes first prize for most eventful. Let's hope it is never bumped down to second place.

The Lone Brave

2006-11-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

One little brave stood alone in a land that was unknown to him. He was in a land far from the badlands that his people knew so well, far from what he called home. The little Indian stood; alert to the unfamiliar surroundings. Then by what seemed to be instinct, the mighty brave dropped to the ground, his ear pressed flush to the Earth, listening to a distant sound. A sound he had heard before. Approaching from the east were six enemies. Time was short. Preparations had to be made. He had the element of surprise. His only path to success was to ambush them.

Gathering his personal effects and stowing them neatly in his pouch, the lone brave donned his feathered headdress. Reaching to the Earth, his fingertips outstretched, he ran them along the soft ground scooping up dark mud. Almost ceremoniously, he applied the Earth to his face. He took the hatchet from his belt and gripped it tightly in his hand. He was ready. Now able to hear his enemy approaching, he clambered into a nearby tree.

Peering around the branches and leaves he squinted into the darkness, nothing he could have done could have prepared him for what his eyes now beheld. A man was walking towards him, but the man looked to have been buried long ago. Holes in the decayed flesh showed bloodless muscle beneath. Torn and tattered clothing hung off of his lifeless form. Next to him was what appeared to be a pale looking man with knives for teeth. With his hood hiding his face, all that could be seen were two small, red eyes. A golden amulet glistened on his chest. Following closely behind were four other beings that the brave could never have imagined. A man clothed in a smooth white material with what seemed to be a clear round helmet over his head and face. A giant lizard walking upright appeared to be talking to the man with the sharp teeth. In the rear were two females. One had a beautiful dress with what looked like wings protruding from her back. The other had strange ears and a tail...resembling a dog.

Mustering what courage he had, the mighty warrior leapt from the tree, hatchet in hand. To his disbelief, the group of people ran toward him, their arms outstretched and each of them holding some sort of satchel. Before he could move or react at all they were all around him. Then almost in unison, they all cried, “Trick or treeeat!"

Laughing, the mighty brave reached into his deerskin pouch and pulled out some candy. He jovially dropped some in each of the bags. Then, unwrapping one for himself he stood laughing, eating his lollipop.

Housework and egg nog...

2006-10-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

Ok...the date I have put in place to finish with the larger projects of the downstairs is December 1st. "Why", you ask? Well, to me the answer is simple: I want to enjoy Christmas this year.

I'm not implying that I didn't enjoy Christmas last year, in fact the holiday spirit was high in our house. It was Declan's first Christmas and that was enough to make it one of the best holiday seasons ever. Although, you have to agree that there is a difference in the potency of the holiday spirit when, on Christmas Eve day, one is sanding spackle whilst listening to Bing Crosby croon away 'White Christmas'. It felt that what made my Christmas white was spackle dust and not snow. Not to mention that our Christmas tree was constructed out of creatively cut wrapping paper and taped to our bedroom wall.

This year however, we have a finished bay window where we can trim and display the Christmas tree, we have a finished stairwell where we can hang the stockings, we have a finished archway between the foyer and living room to hang garland and we have a finished foyer where we can hang some mistletoe for Christmas smooching.

What I want for Christmas, or should I say in time for Christmas is the following:

1. I want a finished dining room where we can sit Christmas eve with Declan and put out cookies and carrots for Santa and his reindeer.
2. I want a bartop installed so I can sit there and enjoy warm egg nog spiked with...whatever.
3. I want a countertop that doesn't move when it's leaned on; where Maribeth can bake her wonderful pumpkin bread on Christmas eve.
4. I want a hood over the stove that can suck up the horrid smell of any Christmas cookies that I may burn.
5. And I wouldn't mind having the tin ceiling installed in the kitchen, that way when I'm flat on my back from the egg nog, I'll have something pretty to look at.

All in all, I think the above list is possible. 30 days is all we have left. That's plenty of time. I think that if we buckle down and maybe take a day or two off of work, Maribeth and I will be able finish all of the items on our wish list. We'll be able to relax this holiday season...and enjoy Christmas.

Here's to egg nog...cheers!

When the bough breaks...

2006-10-09T11:26:00.000-04:00

Maribeth's brake light had not been working for quite some time. So on the way home the other night I decided to stop at Advance Auto Parts and pick up a replacement bulb. And naturally my spontaneity got the best of me at 8:30 at night and I decided to change her bulb.

So I gathered all I needed to do the job. One replacement bulb? check. One flashlight? check. One mysterious rustling in the trees? check. Wait. One what? Yes. A mysterious rustling in the trees. hmm...I have a flashlight why not take a look? Well, I like to think that my fear of el Chupacabra would be one good reason not to look...but that's another blog entry.

One flashlight sweep of the trees showed nothing abnormal and no red glowing chupacabra eyes, so back to work I went. Out with the old bulb...in with the...in with..with...drat. It didn't fit. I guess I shouldn't have put my stock in the guy behind the counter at the autoparts store. Oh well. Time to clean up. I start putting things back and all of a sudden I hear the mysterious rustling again...then I hear a hard thwump!

I pointed my flashlight in the direction of the noise and lo and behold...I see a little furry brown lump lying on the ground. Moving closer I notice that it's a squirrel. It either had to be knocked out cold or else its little neck snapped when it hit the ground. Either way, it's not moving. I creep next to it and poke it with the flashlight. "Eee Eee Eeeeee". It got on all fours and started screaming. It looks like that's all it had in it because a second later it was lying on the ground again, exhausted.

I go inside and yell up to Maribeth, "Come outside. Quick! In front of the garage." I grabbed a box and a towel and head back outside. Maribeth comes out with Declan and there we all stood; staring at a squirrel. As I retold my story about the rustling in the trees and the thud, I scooped him up in the towel. We took turns petting the little guy and placed him in the box.

Initially, we placed the box outside. Then, in all my wondrous softiness, I decided that it was too cold for the lil fella outside and brought him into the laundry room. I pushed the cats away and into the kitchen and closed the door. I picked up the lil guy (in the towel) and held him for a little. I had never seen a squirrel this close before. They are actually really pretty. They have little ears like a hamster, a thin tail with lots of fluff, their coats are really soft and their teeth are huuge! At that point I decided to put him down. I crushed a walnut, put it in there with him and went upstairs.

I started watching a movie and naturally, my childish curiosity kicked in and I went downstairs to have another look. I went into the laundry room and turned on the light. As soon as the light came on, the little guy freaked out and started to thrash inside the box. Having only my pajamas on and no slippers, I decided it best to go upstairs and put some real clothes on. Maribeth was already sleeping, so of course I woke her up and told her about how well he was doing. I convinced her to come downstairs and together we crept into the laundry room. we picked up the box, and set it outside on it's side so that it could get out if it so desired. And once again we climbed up the stairs. Maribeth under the covers and me on the covers watching the movie again.

When it was over I decided to check on him one last time. I grabbed the flashlight and down I went. I peeked in the box and there he was. All curled up in the towel. But this time, he wasn't breathing. No movement at all. With a sigh, I set the box upright and gently pulled the towel out of the box. He slid off and onto the bottom, motionless. I picked up the box and walked across the yard. I gave him one last rub on the nose and said, "If you're actually a really sound sleeper, then I'm sorry for this." And with that, I tossed him onto the woodpile, turned and went back inside.

Alas, it was a valiant effort. I guess last night was its night to go. It could have ended lying there on the cold wet earth, but it didn't. It ended wrapped in a towel, in a warm place, and with a few walnuts to munch on.

Goodbye little friend.

What Exactly is a Swarr? Part 2 of 5

2006-10-05T10:23:00.000-04:00

What exactly is a Swarr? That is the million dollar question that I've been asking too.

On Monday, September 11th, 2006 I was an official Swarr for 2 years. Amazing isn’t it? And some people actually still like me…

I became a Swarr one beautiful September day what seems like ages ago. I said “I do” and that was that. No turning back now. I like to think I have adapted well to this new family’s style. And by “adapted well”, I mean “learned to survive”.

It is a cutthroat world where I now live. I am forced to belch in public, forced to partake in countless discussions regarding bodily functions and I can’t even begin to describe the lessons in patience I have been forced to learn. On the upside, I now have a whole new appreciation for art, and I have realized that merciless pranks and jibes are really just expressions of love (thanks Gabe. You teach your lessons well).

My skin has thickened and my wit has quickened. On top of it all, my circle of deeply loved family has widened. And that enough is worth it all.

So all in all I feel that two years ago, a good decision was made…no mater how many times I may step back, look at these people with the utmost curiosity, and be grateful I will soon have my degree in Psychology.

-Maribeth

"Ah-ne"

2006-09-20T11:12:00.000-04:00

Ok. The time it takes us to update this this is getting out of hand. I think the reason for the delay is because there isn't much going on that is significant enough to write about, so we're constantly waiting for the next big thing to blog...so I have decided that no matter how mundane, we will blog. And blog often.

However, this one is not mundane. It is significant. Read on...

Last night was just like any other night. We played with Declan, read him a story, gave him a bottle, said prayers, gave kisses and turned on his music to fall asleep. Declan got fussy as I left the room, but that is the norm. He will fall asleep.

I went back to our bedroom and sat there piddling around on my laptop. I had noticed that lil man had stopped fussing and that his CD had played through. Maribeth was already sleeping, so I went about my business of playing games on my laptop when I noticed little Declan noises coming from little Declan's room. Nothing alarming, but I stopped to listen. It sounded as though he had fallen asleep and was making noises while dreaming. I thought, "Hey...why not turn his music back on and let him sleep to it?". So over to his room I went.

I opened the door a little, sneaked over to the radio and turned on his Kermit CD. I turned to leave and I saw that Declan was standing up in his pack and play (his 'bed') with his bottle, making faces and making tiny little laughing noises. I walked over to him and said, "Hey, bud. What are you doing?". He glanced at me and then pointed across his room to the area where the radio and rocking chair were and said, "Ah-ne."

I looked in the direction he was pointing and thought that he meant "Ernie" because Kermit was singing (Jim Henson had been both Kermit and Ernie, so they sound similar). It didn't make sense to me though that he would think it was Ernie singing because we must have listed to those songs a hundred times and he knows that it is 'Termit' and not Ernie. I looked at him and said, "What?"

Once again, while still making faces and noises he pointed and said, "Ah-ne." I asked him, "Do you mean Ernie?". He replied with a cute little "Noo".

Then it clicked...He was imitating someone. You could tell. His attention was focused, he was making faces and little laughing noises.

He wasn't saying 'Ernie'. I took a deep breath and hesitantly asked, "Do you mean Arna?".

Without skipping a beat, he replied, "Yeah".

With an odd feeling, I kissed him goodnight, walked over to the door and said, "Tell Great Grandma not to keep you up all night" and pulled it shut. He didn't fuss at all.

_______________________________________________________

For those of you that may not know, Arna is Declan's great-grandma. She passed away some time ago and Declan had never met her before.

We had been over at my parent's house this weekend, and coincidentally enough we showed him a picture of her and had told him her name was Arna.

So that's the story in a nutshell...If it was you...thanks, Gramdma.

-zs

I knew it....

2006-08-15T10:55:00.001-04:00

Well, I guess I can see the future. This is the first update on here in a looong time. I had a feeling that would happen. Sorry about that. Maribeth and I were getting so caught up in all the goings on and--uh..ok...so there's not much going on.

The only real news we have is that Maribeth got her new job!!! Yippee!! Congrats, honey! She starts in less than two weeks. It was a huge relief when she got the news. She absolutely deserves it. Good job, MJ!

Oh and I got my discharge papers in the mail on Friday. I had actually been out since June 29th, but it didn't really sink in until I got the certificate in the mail. That chapter is closed.

Not much else is new. I have a feeling that work on the house is going to increase as it is not so blasted hot outside. Hopefully this weather is the start of the downfall of summer heat. I for one will be keeping my fingers crossed. Heat = grumpy.

The "What exactly is a Swarr" profiles will continue with none other than Maribeth herself.

Not much has changed on the Declan front either. Once in a while he spits out a sentence here and there. It's pretty cute:

wangedown-nwok = I want to get down and walk

See? Cute. I win. Actually Declan wins. He always wins. Even when he's bad, he still wins. Just this weekend he pitter-pattered over to the cat's water and . "Uh-oh" he says staring at the mess. I walked over and told him (for the 1,000,000th time) "Kitty water is yuck. It is not to play in". And what does he do? He shakes his little cute-infested finger and says, "No, no, no" while looking at the mess. He turns, walks away, rubs his soaked overalls and says, "Ahwet" (All wet). See? He always wins. cute.

Needless to say, the posts will continue (and in a more timely manner). Hopefully the content is fresh and exciting enough for all of you.

Talk to you soon.

-Zach

MEOW HAS RETURNED!!

2006-07-20T09:58:00.000-04:00

Good news everyone! I got a call from the venue where we had the company picnic...they needed Animal Control to show up to pick up a wild tiger! Yippee!

After work I drove over to daycare and picked up Declan and then off to get Meow. I walked inside and there he was, sitting on a watermelon looking all mischevious. I scooped him up and walked him out to the car where Declan was excitedly waiting. I opened the car door and handed the little tiger to the little man. He said "Meow!" and grabbed him and hugged him, kicked his little feet, and gave him a biiiig kiss on the nose.

The were together for the rest of the night...

Meow is MIA

2006-07-17T08:33:00.000-04:00

There is no easy way to say this...Meow is missing. For those of you that don't know, Meow is a little stuffed tiger that is best friends with Declan. Not only is he just a stuffed animal, he is THE stuffed animal. Declan goes everywhere with him. And Meow goes everywhere with Declan.

Our story begins at my company's annual summer picnic. Much fun was had by all. A magician, a bouncy castle, and a little frog pond for Declan to fall into. "Froggie?" sploosh! Time to change the clothes. So there we were having fun and enjoying ourselves to the point where we decided to call it a day. Packing up the lawn chairs, the diaper bag and the wet clothes, we made our way to the car. We loaded little man up and piled the things in the back. Upon looking around and making a mental inventory of what we brought vs. what we're leaving with, something struck me. Taking a second and even third look around I could only come to one conclusion: no little tiger. So naturally we went back to the table we called home during the party to search. Outside and inside we looked. No tiger. We even asked around...got a few funny looks in response (because how often are you asked , "Have you seen a little tiger anywhere?"). Coming to the conclusion that that Meow was no longer there, we slumped back to the car, drove the two minutes home and proceeded to unload our goods. Untangling Declan from his web of a car seat, we picked him up and turned to go back to the house. "Wha Meow?". There it was...the realization that his little tiger didn't come home. Of course we responded as any responsible and honest parent would: "I think he's inside. Let's go inside" and hurried off.

We did a good job keeping him distracted throughout the evening, but when it came time for bed there was no avoiding it. Following the bedtime rituals, we read him a story, gave him his bottle and said our goodnight prayers. He laid down and..."Wha Meow?". Crap. There I sat explaining to him how Meow went bye-byes, he's sleeping over at someone else's house, etc, etc...Not an easy thing to explain to an 18 month old. Partially because I don't think he understood a word I was saying. We said a little prayer for Meow and off to slumberland he went.

The next morning, Mommy woke him up. He sleepily opened his eyes, smiled and reached up for her. She picked him up and turned to walk out of the room and, of course "Uh Meow" (meaning "I want Meow"). She went throught the same routine that I went through explaining how Meow went bye-byes, but he is safe and we'll get him back, etc...

Here we are...Meow-less. Declan slowly realizing that his friend may be gone forever.

So the hunt is on. Maribeth and I will not rest until we bring Meow home. We have a couple of leads and some questioning to do. We'll see what turns up.

Meow, wherever you are...keep your chin up. We're coming to get you.

What Exactly is a Swarr? Part 1 of 5

2006-07-11T21:22:00.000-04:00

This entry is the first in the series entitled "What Exactly is a Swarr?" In this series we will profile who...or what a Swarr really is. What make them tick? Do they tick? And What exactly gives one the right to be called a Swarr anyway? Is it a birth-rite? A trial by fire? Or just sheer stupidity in a 'wrong place wrong time' sense of the word? We shall see...

And the first profile is....

Artemus.

Artemus J Cat or just 'Arty' was originally a Schaeffer...a wha? Yes. A Schaeffer. He was originally discovered living among a tribe deep in the jungles of Lancaster...I believe they called themselves the Humane League tribe or something. Anywho, Maribeth and I discovered him in October of 2004 as a 4 month old kitten bottled up in the Kitten Room of that jungle village. We instantly fell in love with the little bugger...ok...we looked at about 4 others before him, but who's counting? We loved him and he loved us. We saw Swarr potential. There was only one problem: We lived in our apartment at the time and technically couldn't have cats. Our landlord had an off the books, "I don't care" policy, but officially we weren't allowed to have them. But getting him from the Humane League required approval from the landlord which we obviously couldn't get. Maribeth and I sat in the parking lot contemplating a way to free our trapped Swarr-to-be. Then It struck us like Lightening Force: Lamar the Revenger. Known to many commonfolk as 'Dean'. He came to the rescue and adopted Artemus for himself...only to transfer ownership wholeheartedly to the Swarr family. For that we salute you, Lamar the Revenger. Wherever you are.

But not all was rose petals and dandelions. Arty came down with a nasty respiritory infection. Maribeth and I took turns pinning him down and giving him a dropper full of medicine. Ahh, clawmarks. How I miss thy burn. Given time and a LOT of babying by Dad, Arty eventually came around and began his journey into Swarrhood.

Arty has since become a big, lazy and snuggley cat. He loves to sit on nightstands and meow until I scooch over in the bed to make enough room for him to lie down. He sometimes curls up under the covers with us. Maribeth loves it! He's become very cuddley as of late, but the summer months make him shed and make us sticky creating a beautiful faux beard and moustache for everyday use.

Arty has his fun days and his lazy days, but overall, he makes a great addition to the Swarr family. A top notch feline.

Thank you, Arty.

Hello Swarr Blog

2006-07-10T19:35:00.000-04:00

Well here we are typin up our first post. All of the witty remarks and humorous anecdotes that made this seem like a good idea an hour ago have just oozed out of my brain onto the floor somewhere and I think the cats are eating it. eww!

For those of you who can't get enough of the lil Swarr family, you can now feel a little closer just by reading this handy little blog whenever your heart desires. You'll get updates on the latest cat musings, Declan antics and parental woes and wows along the way.

Hopefully we'll get the hang of the posting thing and have enough gumption to keep it going so that that it can grow and progress as we do.

Here's to much blogging together! CHEERS!!

-zs