"My" game.

Ask any gamer what 'their' game is and they'll be more than happy to not only tell you what it is, but they will tell you every aspect of it including their own personal crowning achievement whilst playing it. That game for me is Bionic Commando.

It's a NES game from back in the day. It's absolutely fantastic. You're a soldier with a bionic arm who is on a mission to plow through an entire enemy army, rescue a POW and destroy a top secret doomsday machine designed by a man who not only looks identical to Hitler, but is also cryogenically frozen for decades only to come reanimated at the most climactic part of the game. Crazily realistic, huh? I think so too.

I'll tell you what, that game is utterly fantastic to play. Your bionic arm allows you to not only grapple on to just about anything and swing around, but you can also hit enemies and grab little 'ration cans' for additional life.

So now that I've told you all about 'my' game, I need to tell you my crowning achievements. Most of the time you'll hear, "I can beat the game without dying once." Yeah, I can do that. Then you might even hear, "I can beat the game and get every item and find every secret." Done and done. Typically what you don't hear is this: "I can beat the first 3 levels with my eyes closed without dying." Yeah...that's right. And you've probably never heard this, "I can beat the game one handed." Yep. One handed.

Needless to say, Bionic Commando is my favorite game. Ever. That's one of the reasons why I have such mixed feelings about the fact that it has resurfaced in the gaming world. I am overjoyed because it's a new Bionic Commando game, but I'm saddened because Capcom is releasing the game through Sony and Microsoft, not through Nintendo.

However not only is there a new game coming out, there is also a new version of the original game coming out. Meaning, it's the exact same game only it's received new graphics, better bionic arm features and simultaneous two player action. But alas, no Nintendo.

So all in all, I still love Bionic Commando and I will continue to play it until the day I die. Now I just need to figure out a way to get an XBox 360 and the new versions without breaking the bank.

I'll keep my fingers crossed on the hand I'm not playing the game with.


Look, a picture!!!

By: Mrs. Swarr

The camera card reader still doesn't work. I don't know the facts - all I know is that parts of our computer don't work and that makes me very grumpy. Maybe not grumpy. More like perturbed. Severely perturbed, that's it.

Anyway, still no pictures. No pictures of Lucy our new cat (does 4 months still count as new?), no pictures of Christmas, no pictures of Declan's 3rd birthday party, no pictures of the changes we've made in the house.... nuthin. I suppose we should just buy a new card reader, but we already have 2 that we were only able to use once or twice each, and dammit I don't want to spend money on something I just bought 2 weeks ago and shouldn't have had to buy again for 2 years!!!!!! Perturbed.

Ok how's this:

We don't really let Declan watch El Tigre a whole lot, partly because its too fast-paced for a 3 year old, but mostly because we don't have Nickelodeon and its rarely on demand. We try to let him know though, that 'this is your Uncle Gabe's cartoon so you should think its the coolest thing ever.' Hasn't really worked. Thankfully McDonald's was willing to help us out here and agreed to slip El Tigre toys into his Happy Meal (they really do make you happy).

Before you all condemn us here, we tried to avoid the fast food thing with Declan, but you have to understand... we slipped once, and ever after there is no food on the planet that compares to chickennuggetsandfrenchfries. Not only is chickennuggetsandfrenchfries the best ever food, but it will cure anything that ails him.

"My tummy hurts, wahhh"


"I'm sleepy and grumpy, wahhh"




See? The choices are to refuse toilet food and stay up all night preparing organic yummies, OR concede the fact that people have been eating toilet food for 50 years and the worst thing that has happened is that they are fat, unhealthy and gross. The winning choice is obviously my God given right to a smidgen of sanity.

Am I off track? Where was I? Oh yeah, El Tigre. Well since the toys have entered our household (how dare you accuse us of having 4 of each character!), Declan finally gets the picture. I mean he mostly gets the picture. He runs around yelling "WHITE PANTERAAAAAAAA" and plays with the toys and still thinks Uncle Gabe is the best human being ever. I guess the only thing we're still stuck on is the whole 'dual personality' thing. He doesn't get that Manny and El Tigre are one and the same. That causes some major confusion let me tell you. Oh and it doesn't help that he has seen the episode where Frida steals Manny's belt and becomes La Tigressa, because now he's convinced that El Tigre is a girl therefore he couldn't possibly be Manny in disguise and so on and so forth.