Really Big Rodents

By: Mrs. Swarr

I always thought that kids tend to get overly excited about little things. Which isn't good because if you get overly excited about every little thing, you tend to be let down an awful lot. Well. Turns out when you have kids, you become just as bad.

For example, last Wednesday we took Declan to his first movie in a theater. The only kid friendly movie was Alvin and the Chipmunks. Not entirely thrill inducing, but since it has a lot of music, we thought it would suffice. I got super excited about the fun we would have and about telling our wonderful blog readers all about the great fun we had and I was convinced Declan would be talking about it for days (weeks!) afterward.

There I go, underestimating the level of grandeur now required to wow our little (almost) 3 year old. The movie? Just another movie. The popcorn? Good for a while. The fact that the screen was the size of our house - meh. Not so much. The most exciting moment of the whole evening? Trying to sit down and realizing that the seats are folded up. And if you run down the row flipping down all the seats it's really cool.

Oh well. It may not have been overly memorable, but we had fun and that was the point.

Mini-Schaeffer Has Arrived

It's official. Dean has created life and it now walks among us. Well, poops, eats, cries and lays on its back among us.

I don't want to steal his thunder in the details, but I was provided with the following FIRST PICTURE of baby Schaeffer. Enjoy!!

Congratulations, Dean and Michelle.

~The Swarrs

Don't touch me

By: Mrs. Swarr

Over the past year and a half, I have steadily been going blind. The fact that I can't read road signs and have to walk halfway down the grocery isle to read whether what I need is actually in that isle or not has been getting on my nerves, but what finally prompted me to visit the eye doctor is the fact that I can no longer read the show listings on our little Comcast menu. Do you know how horrible it is to actually have to flip through the channels rather than perusing the menu? There's this little delay between each channel that makes flipping truly agonizing.

After about 500 phone calls to ensure I selected a doctor in the network, I made it to the eye doctor today. Now I really don't mind the eye doctor (seeing as the alternative is the dentist which is truly worse than death)(no offense Charlie, I'm sure you're a fabulous dentist, I just haven't had the pleasure of your superior dentisting skills), but I really am not a big fan of that little puff of air they blow at your eyes - scares the shit out of me every time. Well let me tell you. My fancy new eye doctor doesn't use the little puff of air. Oh no. They numb your eyeballs and then poke them to see how squishy they are. That's right. My eyeballs are completely numb right now and they do NOT feel happy.

And as a side note, a bunch of lettuce and some dressing is definitely not enough to nourish one for an entire day. Add a few chickens, a loaf of bread, some side dishes and then we're on the right track.

I need a new button

When I get home today I am going to have to find the button jar and search for a new button for my pants. I truly don't recall how it came off, although I have a good guess as to why most buttons become detached. I did keep it in the pocket of my pants just in case I would be feeling ambitious one day and sew it back on. It's not absolutely necessary because I also have one of those metal tab/hook that works just least until one side of it gets bent or pulled out. So all in all, I'm ok to leave my button in my pocket until the time comes to restore it to its full potential of being a button.

Well, I thought it was ok...until this morning that is. When it all went wrong. You see, being 28, I already find myself having to take medication daily. One pill to prevent daily migraines (can I get a sarcastic 'yay,' people?). So until the day comes when I no longer have to take the meds, I must consume them faithfully. And because I am me, I sometimes forget. Last evening was one of those nights. I forgot to take it. And I forgot to take it when I left the house this morning. I only remembered it when I had to run back in to grab the phone that I forgot and while I was there, I also grabbed the pair of jeans and a shirt that I forgot (notice a pattern yet?).

So I shove the pill in my pocket and run out of the house. I get to work and I remember my pill.

I reach in my pocket, put my pill in my mouth, drink and swallow.

Crap. That didn't feel like a pill. It was a little bit too big.

Stupid button...



By: Mrs. Swarr

Declan has a best friend. I'm not quite sure how it happened as they've been best friends for at least a year now. Its not like they could have chatted it up in their first and second or even third years of life. But somehow they decided they liked each other and time has not weakened the bond. Should you think I am exaggerating when I say 'best' friends, let me enlighten you:

- When asked what he was thankful for over the Thanksgiving holidays, Declan immediately piped up, "My Isabel!"
- On days when Isabel is grumpy and sleepy, the only way her mother can get her out the door to daycare is to remind her that, "Declan is there waiting to play with you"
- Declan is constantly picking up acorns, leaves, cookies, etc. claiming they are to give to Isabel the next day

Since Declan is a lonely little mongrel with no friends outside of school, we decided a play date with little Isabel would be a good idea. This morning we bumped into Isabel and Isabel's Mom (parents don't have names at school, they are simply ____'s Mom/Dad) and set a date. Declan went from a sleepy, carsick lump to an excited ball of energy. He said something like, "We're going to play with Isabel and we're going to have so much fun!!!!" but really it just sounded like one long word.

Yeah they're best friends. I feel quite comfortable betrothing them now and avoiding any possible high school drama that may otherwise have occurred.

By the way....

By: Mrs. Swarr

The holidays were wonderful. Christmas was a whole lot of fun with too many gifts received and not enough given, my birthday was fine and relaxing, and New Years was the salve to any remaining stress. We did miss a few of our brothers and sisters an awful lot, but that is what happens when we all grow up, marry, and move across the country.

Declan actually behaved very well for having his insides replaced with sugar and then being overloaded with gifts. I may be a scrooge when it comes to getting ready for Christmas (I actually tried to convince Zach not to put a tree up this year), but I truly love the holidays and the time it gives us to enjoy each other.

Next is Declan's birthday, mere weeks away. This is what I have to say about that - Do you people have any idea how big our house is? No seriously. His toy room is now located in the back yard and I could care less if it is only 20 degrees out. "You want your toys, boy? Well bundle up and go play, I don't care if puzzles don't work with mittens!"

He has great toys actually, but you know what? He doesn't play with them, not because he's spoiled and doesn't like them, but because he doesn't have time. We all get home, throw some microwavable dinner down our throats, try to play/tidy up/bathe/remove the year old pumpkin from the front porch/pay bills for a few minutes, and then it is off to bed before we realize we've made it home. If you want to do something for Declan for his birthday this year, plan a date with him. Enjoy him and let him enjoy you. He is the sweetest, funniest, most lovable little guy, and his young life is slipping past us. He loves his family so much, and I guarantee he would love a day with you more than any other gift you could give him (not that he won't run around the house screaming about another Thomas or Lightning McQueen t-shirt...).

Bombs Away

By: Mrs. Swarr

Potty training sucks. Especially when the kid involved has no interest. There is nothing worse.

So when we are not horribly irritated by his straddle walk after he has let cry, "oh no I peed in my pants!" we try to take the laughs we can. Lately, the laugh comes with the poop. Rather than telling us he has to go or heaven forbid sitting on the little green and yellow toilet we bought just to make pottying easier for him, he leaves. He goes to another room. And when we go check on him he dramatically puts his hand out to stop us, "No Mommy! Don't come in here! It's gonna be stinky." Unfortunately I never retain enough composure to get the little squirt into the bathroom before making the room stinky, but at least I get some joy out of the day.