By: Mrs. Swarr
Over the past year and a half, I have steadily been going blind. The fact that I can't read road signs and have to walk halfway down the grocery isle to read whether what I need is actually in that isle or not has been getting on my nerves, but what finally prompted me to visit the eye doctor is the fact that I can no longer read the show listings on our little Comcast menu. Do you know how horrible it is to actually have to flip through the channels rather than perusing the menu? There's this little delay between each channel that makes flipping truly agonizing.
After about 500 phone calls to ensure I selected a doctor in the network, I made it to the eye doctor today. Now I really don't mind the eye doctor (seeing as the alternative is the dentist which is truly worse than death)(no offense Charlie, I'm sure you're a fabulous dentist, I just haven't had the pleasure of your superior dentisting skills), but I really am not a big fan of that little puff of air they blow at your eyes - scares the shit out of me every time. Well let me tell you. My fancy new eye doctor doesn't use the little puff of air. Oh no. They numb your eyeballs and then poke them to see how squishy they are. That's right. My eyeballs are completely numb right now and they do NOT feel happy.
And as a side note, a bunch of lettuce and some dressing is definitely not enough to nourish one for an entire day. Add a few chickens, a loaf of bread, some side dishes and then we're on the right track.