What Exactly is a Swarr? Part 1 of 5

This entry is the first in the series entitled "What Exactly is a Swarr?" In this series we will profile who...or what a Swarr really is. What make them tick? Do they tick? And What exactly gives one the right to be called a Swarr anyway? Is it a birth-rite? A trial by fire? Or just sheer stupidity in a 'wrong place wrong time' sense of the word? We shall see...

And the first profile is....

Artemus.


Artemus J Cat or just 'Arty' was originally a Schaeffer...a wha? Yes. A Schaeffer. He was originally discovered living among a tribe deep in the jungles of Lancaster...I believe they called themselves the Humane League tribe or something. Anywho, Maribeth and I discovered him in October of 2004 as a 4 month old kitten bottled up in the Kitten Room of that jungle village. We instantly fell in love with the little bugger...ok...we looked at about 4 others before him, but who's counting? We loved him and he loved us. We saw Swarr potential. There was only one problem: We lived in our apartment at the time and technically couldn't have cats. Our landlord had an off the books, "I don't care" policy, but officially we weren't allowed to have them. But getting him from the Humane League required approval from the landlord which we obviously couldn't get. Maribeth and I sat in the parking lot contemplating a way to free our trapped Swarr-to-be. Then It struck us like Lightening Force: Lamar the Revenger. Known to many commonfolk as 'Dean'. He came to the rescue and adopted Artemus for himself...only to transfer ownership wholeheartedly to the Swarr family. For that we salute you, Lamar the Revenger. Wherever you are.

But not all was rose petals and dandelions. Arty came down with a nasty respiritory infection. Maribeth and I took turns pinning him down and giving him a dropper full of medicine. Ahh, clawmarks. How I miss thy burn. Given time and a LOT of babying by Dad, Arty eventually came around and began his journey into Swarrhood.

Arty has since become a big, lazy and snuggley cat. He loves to sit on nightstands and meow until I scooch over in the bed to make enough room for him to lie down. He sometimes curls up under the covers with us. Maribeth loves it! He's become very cuddley as of late, but the summer months make him shed and make us sticky creating a beautiful faux beard and moustache for everyday use.

Arty has his fun days and his lazy days, but overall, he makes a great addition to the Swarr family. A top notch feline.

Thank you, Arty.

5 comments:

Gabe Swarr said...

I want more profiles!

coworkerkim said...

Can I be a Swarr too?? Huh? Can I?
Huh?
Nice work guys! Very enjoyable and BADLY needed so I can figure out what the heck makes Zach tick and how the heck Maribeth puts UP with it. Worked w/ him for years now and still have not figured it out....
Where are the dancing monkeys??

lamar the revenger said...

I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!!

pappy said...

of course his name is ARTY! All Swarr's are ARTY!

Mom said...

And to think I started it all!!!
Heh! Heh! Heh!